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View Full Version : Do you know your pops???



djHeir
10-23-2006, 01:53 PM
Be it by blood, marriage, or simple someone you call "dad", do you know your father (earthly)? Let me define "know" a bit also. By "know", I mean have you ever had a relationship with your father?

Don't know why but I just felt like seeing how many of us actually know our earthly fathers. Thanks fam!

BTW, I made this a private poll in case some don't want to reveal their vote.

lisajames96
10-23-2006, 01:57 PM
Yes, I've known him since I was born ...but he died in '91

thankfull
10-23-2006, 01:58 PM
Be it by blood, marriage, or simple someone you call "dad", do you know your father (earthly)? Let me define "know" a bit also. By "know", I mean have you ever had a relationship with your father?

Don't know why but I just felt like seeing how many of us actually know our earthly fathers. Thanks fam!

BTW, I made this a private poll in case some don't want to reveal their vote.

I currently live with my father and he has been around all my life (praise the Lord!) . Could we be closer, probably. But we get along pretty well.

jeremy lopez
10-23-2006, 01:58 PM
i knew my dad but when he left my fam he seems more like somebody you just know but dont really talk to alot.

CHRISTion
10-23-2006, 02:03 PM
My parents divorced when I was very young (3 or 4) & he has lived in the ATL, Louisiana, and Indiana for the last 20+ yrs and I've stayed pretty close to him. I really respect my dad, though I know he has made some mistakes in life (mistakes that I don't hold against him btw)-he has been VERY influential in my life as a young minister and as a MAN. I admit that I am a little hurt because I didn't have him there to show me how to shoot a basketball, throw a football, or swing a bat...he also never showed me how to fix a car, change a tire, tie a tie, or how to shoot a gun (not like to kill, but just how to handle one)

BUT

He did teach me the ways of God-something that can't be measured, he taught me what it means to be the MAN of the house, how to be a very loving (yet VEEEEEEEEERY strict) father, and he taught me what it means to love your wife. So...like i said before, I have a lot of respect and reverence for him and I cant wait to be a father myself so that I can do what he did for me + more.

eve
10-23-2006, 02:11 PM
my dad has always been there, and though i used to consider that the norm for the average person, i have been realizing of late that it's not the reality for everyone. i can't think of anyone i would have rather had as a dad. he's the best. God has been very gracious to me. i don't understand how anyone could be anything other than an attentive parent to their own offspring, but it looks like there are plenty who feel perfectly comfortable in that category ... so i'm thankful for a dad who wasn't just "helping" my mom but was one who was a real parent and still is.

Danielle
10-23-2006, 02:11 PM
Yes, my parents have been married for 26 years in Sept. And I can honestly said that my father is a standard for every man that comes into my life, if he ain't on my dad's level than he can't be around. My father has helped to place self esteem and confidence in my life, and I am so grateful that God has placed him in my life, I am so blessed.

djHeir
10-23-2006, 02:21 PM
Thanks for sharing fam!

My biological father committed suicide when I was about 4 years old. I have one or two memories that I'm not even sure are actually even memories or just dreams. My brother is 5 years older than me and from what I've seen in him, it affected him way more than it did me.

For me, not having a father around definitely had an affect on how I grew up. I never really struggled with it until I was about 18 and preparing the enter manhood. For some reason, all of a sudden I felt so unprepared for life and I was soo angry at my pops for leaving me to fend for myself. I eventually forgave him though and after I got saved, I came to the realization that what my pop did was not a suprise to God. He knew exactly what would happen to me and what I needed to survive.

Fast-forward to today and now the closest thing I have to a father (not an insult) is my wife's dad. Problem is, he's one of those old school dads that doesn't so much emotion and is more mechanical in his expressions. The relationship that we have now honestly feels like it's there just because I'm married to his daughter. Not to say that I don't feel that he likes me or anything cause I'm pretty certain that he does. He's just so emotionally dry that it's hard, even for my wife, to have that kind of relationship with him.

Sadly, because I grew up without a father in my life, to this day it is almost impossible for me to call another man "dad" to his face. It's crazy cause everytime I think about it, I try to change but it's something that I just don't know how to say. (please pray for me on that one fam!)

Brian
10-23-2006, 02:26 PM
My mom and dad divorced when I was 4 I saw him for a year after that and for a year I didn't see him and then he commited suicide when I was 6. It's a long story, but basically if you knew all the ins and outs of it you wouldn't think of my dad as the bad guy. And unless your completly cold hearted most of you would feel sorry for him. I might share the whole story one day with ya'll...

Foolish
10-23-2006, 03:17 PM
I know him. I love him. He's in jail though...left family when I was 16. Put in jail just last year for some stuff he did back when he left us. Lots of love for him though, and forgiveness.

Gloria
10-23-2006, 03:53 PM
Whoops...I voted "Kinda." Our relationship hasn't "ended," it's just...well...lacking. He lives overseas with his wife and kids and I've mostly been here in the states. I haven't seen him since 2004 and before that since 1992. We talk a couple of times a year and I am supposed to go visit him next year. I don't know him very well at all.

I technically could've voted "yes" though because my earthly father figure and I talk several times a week. He's my uncle by marriage. Married my mom's sister and raised me from the ages of 3-12. I love my pops:D Eh well...I kinda messed up the stats:p

Tha God In Me
10-23-2006, 05:44 PM
Thanks for sharing fam!

My biological father committed suicide when I was about 4 years old. I have one or two memories that I'm not even sure are actually even memories or just dreams. My brother is 5 years older than me and from what I've seen in him, it affected him way more than it did me.

For me, not having a father around definitely had an affect on how I grew up. I never really struggled with it until I was about 18 and preparing the enter manhood. For some reason, all of a sudden I felt so unprepared for life and I was soo angry at my pops for leaving me to fend for myself. I eventually forgave him though and after I got saved, I came to the realization that what my pop did was not a suprise to God. He knew exactly what would happen to me and what I needed to survive.

Fast-forward to today and now the closest thing I have to a father (not an insult) is my wife's dad. Problem is, he's one of those old school dads that doesn't so much emotion and is more mechanical in his expressions. The relationship that we have now honestly feels like it's there just because I'm married to his daughter. Not to say that I don't feel that he likes me or anything cause I'm pretty certain that he does. He's just so emotionally dry that it's hard, even for my wife, to have that kind of relationship with him.

Sadly, because I grew up without a father in my life, to this day it is almost impossible for me to call another man "dad" to his face. It's crazy cause everytime I think about it, I try to change but it's something that I just don't know how to say. (please pray for me on that one fam!)

Yo my Dad commited suicide when I was 4 yrs. old also. He shot himself in the head and I was the first to see him. I've never had a father figure, I ran the streets alot so untill I truely found Christ the streets was my pops, I learned a lot. I got a father in-law too but God is truely my only father figure. I have memories though, good and real bad.
Much love fam. God bless u.

invisible man
10-23-2006, 06:45 PM
I only got to be around him a little bit when I was younger because he was out to sea a lot in the Navy. My parents divorced when I was 15 years of age and my brother and I have very little contact with dude. When I say little I'm talking micro. So I don't really know him in a personal way like I should. It's crazy but thats how it goes sometimes.

topherstyles
10-23-2006, 07:29 PM
Pops who?
He left us when I was 16. I see him every blue moon....

StreetSermonz
10-23-2006, 07:39 PM
Biologically? I know who he is, but don't really know him. We don't communicate that often. Maybe a few times a year, and I'm blessed if I have a chance to see him. I'm praying that changes tho. I'm praying that God save him and deliver him.

I thank God for my spiritual father, who God united me with 2 years ago. He is a real father figure to me.

dremarshall
10-23-2006, 07:45 PM
My pops is in prison. He's been in & out since I was like...born. I have mad stories though.

1.) He used to give me beer as a baby.
2.) When I was about a month old. Some cats trying to kill him chased him out the house with me in his arms. He hit the cut, dumped me behind some bushes, my mom had to come get me a few hours later.
3.) I became a 5% to attempt getting closer to my pops, it sort of worked, now I'm saved, and he is too.
4.) My pops taught me how to chop cane, bag weed, and to push heroine.
5.) My pops gave me my 1st gun, and came up to school to help me fight some cats.
6.) My pops & I had a shootout with his crew.
7.) My pops robbed a pastor which landed him in jail, and I took over the family business.
Most of this happened before I was 16, how cool this was to most of my buddies & myself, but now that I have a daughter, it's totally different. I love my pops and I forgave him for all the dirt that he did to me, all the times he said he was coming & didn't. Me & my pops talk every few weeks. I love him, and he is doing good! That's me & my pops history.

topherstyles
10-23-2006, 09:34 PM
My pops is in prison. He's been in & out since I was like...born. I have mad stories though.

1.) He used to give me beer as a baby.
2.) When I was about a month old. Some cats trying to kill him chased him out the house with me in his arms. He hit the cut, dumped me behind some bushes, my mom had to come get me a few hours later.
3.) I became a 5% to attempt getting closer to my pops, it sort of worked, now I'm saved, and he is too.
4.) My pops taught me how to chop cane, bag weed, and to push heroine.
5.) My pops gave me my 1st gun, and came up to school to help me fight some cats.
6.) My pops & I had a shootout with his crew.
7.) My pops robbed a pastor which landed him in jail, and I took over the family business.
Most of this happened before I was 16, how cool this was to most of my buddies & myself, but now that I have a daughter, it's totally different. I love my pops and I forgave him for all the dirt that he did to me, all the times he said he was coming & didn't. Me & my pops talk every few weeks. I love him, and he is doing good! That's me & my pops history.

:eek:

albraggs
10-23-2006, 09:40 PM
Well for me I had relationship with my dad when I was little. To me it's funny cuz I was always with him and not my mom. My mom and dad never got married. I had a close relationship with my dad untill I was eight. When I was eight he died of prostate cancer. I can still remember all the fun we had together.

Jito el Cubano
10-23-2006, 11:17 PM
My pops and I live together (my parents have been married 23 years), but we don't really have a relationship. I used to pray for our relationship to get better, and cry myself to sleep as a kid (sometimes even now as a grown man) because I wanted him to show love towards me and spend time with me, but he basically doesn't care. Not to disrespect my pops, 'cause I respect him and demonstrate my love to him through being a good son, but he acts like a jerk. Our "cut off" point when I stop being concerned about our relationship was when I almost died in a car accident this past summer; he had this attitude like he was not happy I was alive, just real disrespectful towards me when I laid in the hospital. Now the only relationship I have with him is through my mother, and the only time he talks is to criticize/berate me or for me to do something for him. It's a sad fact but true, there aren't many fathers who have relationships with their kids, whether they are active in a child's life or not...:(

montenell
10-24-2006, 04:17 AM
no i dont even know my father, last time i saw him i was two, i'm 29 now :( . but the weird thing is i didnt grow up missing him or wondering where he was, it wasn't strange to me that he wasnt around or that i didnt know him. i dont have any bad feelings towards him, and i know that there are two sides to the story, i know that i will meet him one day and will have to go from there

maaj
10-24-2006, 04:37 AM
Be it by blood, marriage, or simple someone you call "dad", do you know your father (earthly)? Let me define "know" a bit also. By "know", I mean have you ever had a relationship with your father?

Don't know why but I just felt like seeing how many of us actually know our earthly fathers. Thanks fam!

BTW, I made this a private poll in case some don't want to reveal their vote.

No, thank God! He's a dopefiend. He has been in and out prison since I have been born.

dremarshall
10-24-2006, 09:42 AM
No, thank God! He's a dopefiend. He has been in and out prison since I have been born.

Read my post a page back, man sort of similar.

DJ Links
10-24-2006, 10:45 AM
Be it by blood, marriage, or simple someone you call "dad", do you know your father (earthly)? Let me define "know" a bit also. By "know", I mean have you ever had a relationship with your father?

Don't know why but I just felt like seeing how many of us actually know our earthly fathers. Thanks fam!

BTW, I made this a private poll in case some don't want to reveal their vote.


You may need to add the category present but absentee.

I grew up with pops in the house, but in all honesty I really can't say I have any good memories (well maybe 1 or 2). Pops was always gone when I was a kid either working or being a player (have a half brother that I have met twice and talked to twice on the phone). As a young shorty I can remember the beatings I used to get (if you are west indian you know what those beatings are like). Pops would wear us out as kids. Pray you never get hit with bamboo!!! The worst part was the beatings or not being involved with me and my sister growing up but were his words.

My bedroom used to be next to theirs all my life. Wow I am just realizing that; from the time we lived in Toronto, to NY to ATL. Well litterally for over 18yrs I would wake up hearing my pops talk to my moms about me and my sister, mainly me. I would always hear his say I wouldn't amount to anything or how lazy I was. Well hearing all of that really did a number on my self esteem and caused me to become introverted in a way. God is changing that though. This past weekend we celebrated my moms B-day with the fam, grandkids and all and I finally said something to the fam to let them know that I won't be silent any longer. Healing is coming to my fam!!

Psalmist
10-24-2006, 11:08 AM
I love my pops....he taught me how to be a man...and did a rather good job even though his pops was absent.

dremarshall
10-24-2006, 11:50 AM
I love my pops....he taught me how to be a man...and did a rather good job even though his pops was absent.

This is good to read!! I am glad to see this.

eve
10-24-2006, 12:28 PM
You may need to add the category present but absentee.

I grew up with pops in the house, but in all honesty I really can't say I have any good memories (well maybe 1 or 2). Pops was always gone when I was a kid either working or being a player (have a half brother that I have met twice and talked to twice on the phone). As a young shorty I can remember the beatings I used to get (if you are west indian you know what those beatings are like). Pops would wear us out as kids. Pray you never get hit with bamboo!!! The worst part was the beatings or not being involved with me and my sister growing up but were his words.

My bedroom used to be next to theirs all my life. Wow I am just realizing that; from the time we lived in Toronto, to NY to ATL. Well litterally for over 18yrs I would wake up hearing my pops talk to my moms about me and my sister, mainly me. I would always hear his say I wouldn't amount to anything or how lazy I was. Well hearing all of that really did a number on my self esteem and caused me to become introverted in a way. God is changing that though. This past weekend we celebrated my moms B-day with the fam, grandkids and all and I finally said something to the fam to let them know that I won't be silent any longer. Healing is coming to my fam!!

you really have a ministry for dudes who's esteem and precious talent were stumped as children. this happens to most people whose parents behaved in the way you mentioned. there's so much you can do to help men who have dealt with overbearing fathers or mothers since you yourself have been through it ... especially before they marry or have kids of their own and become passive aggressive or start utilzing other worse characteristics. that testimony is powerful. keep letting God use you ...

DJ Links
10-24-2006, 12:44 PM
man, bruh. you really have a ministry for dudes who's esteem and precious talent were stumped as children. this happens to most people whose parents behaved in the way you mentioned. there's so much you can do to help men who have dealt with overbearing fathers or mothers since you yourself have been through it ... especially before they marry or have kids of their own and become passive aggressive or start utilzing other worse characteristics. that testimony is powerful. keep letting God use you ...

Eve if you only knew the half!!!

It's a trip because God has called me into ministry yet I have such a hard time talking in front of people. I felt like Moses in front of my fam this past Sun (Lord I can't speak to these people), but God is going to bring healing to my fam. I am seeing Him orchestrate situations and begin to answer prayers.

Thanks for the encouragement!!!

Shock~Therapy
10-24-2006, 01:32 PM
Yes, I've known my pops my whole life. But growing up he was physically present but emotionally absent. More time was spent with him physically beating me down rather than encouraging me to excell. That is not to say it was all bad, and our relationship has dramatically improved since I've gotten older.

simplyG
10-24-2006, 06:24 PM
My pops is the greatest! Worked hard, kept his family together, kept grills out ours mouths, our pants up--showed us how to use that invention called the belt--braids were only on my sisters, scunci's too, underwear was worn under what I wore--THANKS DAD!!!!!!

naijagirl
10-24-2006, 06:45 PM
My dad was the absentee father. As some of you might already know, he's a polygamist and the only good memories I had with him were from ages 0-4. Then one day, he packed up his stuff and left. Before we knew it, he was "married" and my first half-brother was born. He tried to make me and my step-mom get along, but she was always mean to me.

Now my dad worked hard prior to 1994, but after he left, I was in my mom's care. He didn't send any money to help us out, won't go to PTA meetings and only wanted to know what my grades were. He'd promise to visit me one day, and will never come. He stopped buying stuff for me, and until my mom changed the door locks, I used to find my stuff in his house, torn up by his babies (they are still uncontrollable till this day). My dad's unsaved, I've witnessed to him - now his blood is off my hands. But the pain's still there. This summer, when we were taking family photos, he was like "Why are your lips like that?" He's detrimental to my already low self-esteem. He yelled at me for two days because he never sat down to hear what my plans for my major were. I know he wants the best for me, but that man is the reason I am still learning to trust anyone. We're not that close, and I don't think it will happen, because he's stuck in his ways. He doesn't know what my favorite color is, or what my hobbies are....that's all I can say for now.

CIK Productions
04-12-2009, 07:44 PM
Uh I live with mine so I guess you could say I do LOL

Stromer
04-12-2009, 09:49 PM
I'm adopted. My birth-dad wasnt even at the hospital when I was born.

My dad now -- best father I could ask for.

d.hyde
04-12-2009, 10:50 PM
Uh I live with mine so I guess you could say I do LOL
Wow. you revived this post. I have a story similar to Dre in post 16, to be due out in song later this year.:) My experience has caused me to try may hardest to be the antithesis of the father he was to my 2, and I love it!!:)

Dre
04-13-2009, 08:38 AM
My parents separated when I was 5. After that, I saw my father every now and then until I was 10. A year or so later my mom remarried. They separated by the time I was 13 and we moved to PA. But he called every week for a few years after that (they had a son together) and I always considered him to be more of a father to me than my biological. I got back in contact with my stepdad in 07 and we've stayed in touch ever since.

As for my birth father, I got his number and tried reaching out to him in 04. I figured he might be curious about what kind of man his son grew into. He pretty much rushed me off the phone and brushed me off. I called once or twice after that, but he never answered or returned the call so....

StreetSermonz
04-13-2009, 08:42 AM
My dad is a confused Hindu Guru who has been in and out of my life - never had the opportunity to develop a relationship with him. When I was around him he was always high, into some strange hindu trip, or just ignored me. I came to find out later in life that he has struggled with depression, and tried to escape his mistakes by blocking everything out and zoning out in his own world. I've had the opportunity to witness to him on many occasions, and have received prophecy that he is going to be saved many times - a few of the specific words that the LORD spoke have already come to pass recently so I'm praising God and standing in faith for his complete deliverance and the Holy Spirit working on his heart as God draws Him in. :D

My main concern is for his soul, and I pray that we will one day be able to establish a relationship.

I've always wanted a real father, and the LORD gave me one in my spiritual father, who I consider my father. In the 5 years I've been known him, he has fathered me and taught me more than my biological father ever has.

CLER
04-13-2009, 02:49 PM
my parents have been married for 35 years, i've been living with them for 26 years until I get married. My dad is more of a quiet type and has this typical manly-man, not much verbal expression. Growing up, I have numerous great memories with my dad. We kinda grew apart, I mean he's around, but didn't take notice. Since my dad's near-death last year, I make sure I'm there more. I'm not also a verbal person when it comes to expressing my feelings, but I try my best. I've been fortunate to have him around and I can't take advantage of that any longer, I don't know how long he'll still be around.

I get teary-eyed when I wonder if my dad will be able to walk me down the aisle when I get married, he wasn't able to walk my first sister to get married down the aisle last year, and I'm sure the rest of my sisters and I would love my dad to stick around to do that for us. I'm trusting in God.

CHO'ZYN_CHICK
04-13-2009, 02:58 PM
Nice thread! My Father and I are really close. I am a Daddy's Girl ... there are so many detailed posts on here... I'll spare everyone for now because I have so much to say. So much Thanksgiving in my heart. My Father has two biological children yet I have seen Him Father so so so many... I have so much to say. I love my Daddy! God is great. Through the drugs, the domestic violence, etc... my Dad has always been a great Father.God has sustained our relationship. We have a relationahip full of Grace. Anyhoo I could go on and on... now my Dad is saved... God is faithful. I'll stop there for now. :wubclub:

Okay I can't help it...must say a little more...

By the way it hurts my heart when I hear of those who never got to experience this. That is why one of the most beautiful things about my Dad is that He has Fathered many. Including BOTH of my Sister's who are not biologically his. You would never be able to tell the difference. It just brings me so much joy to see God give them the opportunity to experience having a Father. When my oldest Sister was on her dying bed she asked for "Daddy" and it was not her biological father she was asking for. They both attended her funeral and my Dad gave up his seat for her biological father (you know how the immediate family gets rights to the special seating)... well it was given to my Dad but out of respect he gave it to the man who had the guilt in his heart as a father who was never there. Man this is emotional for me. Those who know my Father call him Pops and all my close friends call him Daddy.

Anyways DJ Heir you will be in my prayers. I hold this subject deep in my heart and this is something I can most definitely intercede with...

God Bless & Keep you Family... I'm so mushi :smile:

eve
04-13-2009, 03:12 PM
well it was given to my Dad but out of respect he gave it to the man who had the guilt in his heart as a father who was never there.

i feel sooo sorry for dudes who will never know about this kind of guilt until it's too late & there's literally nothing they can do to compensate for their absence in their own child's upbringing.

they're going to feel soooo low and wish that a time machine had been invented but will be powerless against the fate they created.

joseph29
08-09-2011, 11:40 AM
thankfully I grew up with my father; and so did most of my family and friends. My mom was the youngest of 9 kids in haiti and her father left them when she was still a baby. The way my mom told the story was that my grandmother had to raise 9 kids alone and also be able to put food on the table. Most of the time she was given maybe a quarter per day for for food and clothing. Oh the reason the dude left was to go to america in order to send money to the family (which never happened). Apparently she met him once when he came to visit when she was 9 yo but that was it.