Single, Saved, and Sexin?

[Rikki]

http://crunkfeministcollective.wordp...k-on/#comments

A friend emailed me this link. She wants to do a blogtalk radio show on the subject and wants me to be on it. I think I need to calm down before I can produce a coherent response.

Ya'll read it and comment. Here's a snippet:

So when I recognized the way social conditions and religious guilt shaped my options for partnering, I began to ask different questions about my relationship to God, to the Bible, and to faith. Because my friends were following the rules, to a tee, and yet the rewards elude(d) them.

I don’t want the good stuff, sexual or otherwise, to elude me while I’m over here dutifully following the rules, so I’ve actively and painfully gone in search of a better way, filled with life affirming principles and enough grace to let me enjoy my life and some good sex, too. ‘Cause frankly, now that I’m over 30, getting some, getting it good, and getting it on a regular basis is non-negotiable.

[thankfull]

Wow....this person is off the chain! Don't go to hard on her rikki! LOL smh

[Lynaz24]

http://crunkfeministcollective.wordp...k-on/#comments

A friend emailed me this link. She wants to do a blogtalk radio show on the subject and wants me to be on it. I think I need to calm down before I can produce a coherent response.

Ya'll read it and comment. Here's a snippet:

That's usually what happens when you turn away from God..You become your own

[Ras]

Sounds like a freak who goes to church.

[eve]

Because my friends were following the rules, to a tee, and yet the rewards elude(d) them.

someone needs to pimp-slap this person's pastor.



the rewards are closer fellowship with the Lord of Hosts. and those boundless rewards certainly are NOT "eluding" those who are obedient. duh. the only people those rewards are eluding are those who prefer titillation over the Vine.

For so many women, the biggest faith struggle of their life has been “believing God for a mate.” Year after year, these women serve, pray, and live chaste, believing that God just requires more faith, or alternately, that God is still working on them. And the Black church, in its refusal to consider the impact of over-incarceration, poor education, underemployment, violence, and AIDS, on Black families and heterosexual Black marriages, only makes it worse by reinforcing Black women’s feelings of personal and relational inadequacy. The Church’s parochial sexual politics and double standards have made it even harder for Black women to find the kinds of relationships they so desperately seek. My sister friends want dudes who are in church often, “know the Word,” love God, and are willing to court them for as long as it takes with little to no physical contact. Most preachers don’t adhere to that standard, and while there are some men who would, there are many many, legitimately good brothers who won’t. Our churches rarely even preach celibacy to men.

the reality is we all know women in their 30s, 40s, and even older - solid chicks - who have prayed and believed ... and yet never gotten married. we have all met them, and we probably always will. one can then ask, "are these women kidding? how long will they go on vacation with each other? how long will they deny basic sexual urges? why are they letting life pass them by, while they get older and older?"

but this issue is simple. either God is sovereign or He's not. if He's not, then there is no god and these chicks are praying to themselves and subjecting themselves to nothing. if He is, which is true, then these women will get married or not get married according to His will. in the meantime they will live fulfilling lives that, just like riches or hair that will remain black, doesn't include each and every thing they think they want. some might say "but lets deal with the men: why are they not stepping up?" or "these women need to get out more." well, God is sovereign over all of those things. Scripture is filled with His "interference" in human minds & matters. if He wants marriage for these women, He'll move on hearts and that's what will happen. that is, if He's truly sovereign. and if He doesn't, they'll enjoy lives without that blessed institution.

[eternal]

the rewards are closer fellowship with the Lord of Hosts. and those boundless rewards certainly are NOT "eluding" those who are obedient. duh. the only people those rewards are eluding are those who prefer titillation over the Vine.

Exactly what I was going to say.

[Rikki]

Eve, I will be using your post for part of my response!

[clayfilms]

I'm sure you'll provide a dope, Christ centered, grace filled response Rikki

[Rikki]

I'm sure you'll provide a dope, Christ centered, grace filled response Rikki

This will require MUCH prayer. LOL! Good thing is, I can CERTAINLY relate. I've spent most of my 20's and 30's single.

[clayfilms]

This lady doesn't realize that if you idolize sex while you're single, you'll probably idolize it when you're married too.

Nothing worse than being married and loving sex more than your spouse, cuz umm they probably know that you do.

Idolatry of any kind is like kryptonite to any relationship.

[The_Expositor]

Nothing worse than being married and loving sex more than your spouse, cuz umm they probably know that you do.

And they will use it to manipulate you. Trust and believe.

[FollowerOfChrist1]

Oh lawd...

People like her make my life very difficult. *sigh* People will read this article like "See!!?" and justify their sin and why remaining pure is too "unrealistic".. *backs out of thread*

[FollowerOfChrist1]

Sounds like a freak who goes to church.

Stop that. lol

[FollowerOfChrist1]

Wow....this person is off the chain! Don't go to hard on her rikki! LOL smh

Right.. LAWD that lady better brace herself... sheesh

[djnoyze]

So, just ask people do they want to please God at ALL? She loves her self more than God... Poor thing... God created sex and it's much better when you do it right cuz you don't have to keep going to the clinic to see if you got something from the last dude you was with... SMH...

Dag, does she love anybody? (i was going to say more than herself, but chances are she really doesn't love herself as much as she thinks she does..) SMH...

Man... and she thinks she's saved too?! Not if she don't care nothing about God... and His people...

“But because of immoralities, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband. It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife. Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” —1 Cor 7:2–5 NET

[Devin]

someone needs to pimp-slap this person's pastor.



the rewards are closer fellowship with the Lord of Hosts. and those boundless rewards certainly are NOT "eluding" those who are obedient. duh. the only people those rewards are eluding are those who prefer titillation over the Vine.



the reality is we all know women in their 30s, 40s, and even older - solid chicks - who have prayed and believed ... and yet never gotten married. we have all met them, and we probably always will. one can then ask, "are these women kidding? how long will they go on vacation with each other? how long will they deny basic sexual urges? why are they letting life pass them by, while they get older and older?"

but this issue is simple. either God is sovereign or He's not. if He's not, then there is no god and these chicks are praying to themselves and subjecting themselves to nothing. if He is, which is true, then these women will get married or not get married according to His will. in the meantime they will live fulfilling lives that, just like riches or hair that will remain black, doesn't include each and every thing they think they want. some might say "but lets deal with the men: why are they not stepping up?" or "these women need to get out more." well, God is sovereign over all of those things. Scripture is filled with His "interference" in human minds & matters. if He wants marriage for these women, He'll move on hearts and that's what will happen. that is, if He's truly sovereign. and if He doesn't, they'll enjoy lives without that blessed institution.

Ummm yea.but the problem is that ppl use the God is sovereign talk as an excuse to not make decisions pertaining to their life.nothing makes me cring more honestly when ppl say they are waiting on God when in reality they are procrastinating.people ask God to send them spouses on the regular...but does God actually "send" spouses? If 40 plus and still praying for a spouse you doing something wrong....gone are the days when ppl made decisions and stepped out on faith.....

[eve]

Ummm yea.but the problem is that ppl use the God is sovereign talk as an excuse to not make decisions pertaining to their life.nothing makes me cring more honestly when ppl say they are waiting on God when in reality they are procrastinating.people ask God to send them spouses on the regular...but does God actually "send" spouses? If 40 plus and still praying for a spouse you doing something wrong....gone are the days when ppl made decisions and stepped out on faith.....

you're suggesting that the 40-year-old chick who wants to be married step out on faith ... and do what ...?

[djnoyze]

people ask God to send them spouses on the regular...but does God actually "send" spouses? If 40 plus and still praying for a spouse you doing something wrong....gone are the days when ppl made decisions and stepped out on faith.....

In a way, I understand exactly what you're saying. Some people don't have nobody because they want God to send them to the door and ring the doorbell, and half the time if somebody does ring the doorbell thy gotta give you a minute to pick yo draws up off the floor. SMH...

You can believe God for a mate, and there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you God ain't sending you a fish when you won't get in the water... And even if you are in the water, are you really ready? Or do you still have baggage...?

A lot of people want to hold on to their baggage and get the sex without the commitment because it takes a little more work to get yourself together (i.e. learn how to manage your money, learn how to cook, learn how to keep your house/apt clean, etc...) AND THEN you gotta get the rest of your family life straight. Ain't nobody getting with you and going on dates with you best girl or your mom's in tow because y'all share everything... Sorry... y'all takin' a brotha back with this thread...

[eve]

Ain't nobody getting with you and going on dates with you best girl or your mom's in tow because y'all share everything... Sorry... y'all takin' a brotha back with this thread...

dag.

i'm glad you moved beyond attracting that ...

lol.

[Nefu]

I don't know what's worse this or some lady asking her partner to administer drug that will knock her out unconscious; so she won't let her 'Christian faith ' down while having sex.......
Or some lady telling me, she has to test if the guy she's with, is good before she gets married...
smh....