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  1. #21
    HCR Veterano thankfull's Avatar
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    still praying for you asia.
    You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them,
    yet they are more than can be told. Psalm 40:5

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  3. #22
    HCR Veterano mgz's Avatar
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    Asia, I love you girl and I'm still praying for you. Have you thought about talking to a counselor? There are good Christian counselors who can help you and offer resources. I will look into it. Have you disclosed any of this to those closest to you, perhaps a mentor? Don't be ashamed of being transparent with them. Please know that you're cared about and being prayed for.

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  5. #23
    HCR Veterano illuminaticx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by albraggs View Post
    Thanks again everyone..........I am doing better little by little. It still gets hard, there apart of me that wants to live and sometimes I still have thoughts of sucide and want to end it all. I try to push the thoughts away but its hard and I am reading God's word. I go to church and will have a prayer partner at school. I going to small groups trying to get away but it hard becuase my mind wonders. I don't know how to explian it, Im really trying to trust God with all I have. I can't help to feel bad for saying how I feel and whats going on. Please forgive me, but I really do thank you all for the prayers.
    i will continue to pray for you..

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  7. #24
    HCR Veterano savedbygracealone's Avatar
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    wow, i didn't realize how many brothers and sisters struggle with depression, even here on hcr.

    praying for you asia, and also chris (cowboy), chris (christion), david and neeci. Lord fill your saints will the joy of your salvation!!!

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  9. #25
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    I just read this thread, sis... but, like everyone has already told you, suicide is NOT the answer to your problems...

    Let me tell you something about me.. I graduated from university in july 1999, I never thought about my future or anything, I was pretty mediocre, never excelled in nothing in my life, and I didn't wanna go out to the real world I stayed in school helping this teacher with a project, for 6 months, at the beginning of 2000 I had to do something else because the project had just finished, so I decided to work on my thesis project, I started it and I had to read A LOT, and there I realized I didn't know how to read properly (that is, to extract the meaning of a text), neither I knew how to write, neither how to express my thoughts verbally, so I realized that I was a TOTAL FAILURE, I quit the thesis project, and went home... so, I wasn't good for anything, and I used to say to my self that I was a worthless trash and that I should not continue living... and yes, suicidal thoughts came.. actually, I planned how to end with my life... my pops used to work as a security guard, he had a gun at home... so, this one day in the morning my family left, I was alone, I took the gun, a revolver, to the bullets out, I had to practice, and I had to know what was going to be the last sound I was going the hear.. put the gun to my temple, and pulled the trigger.... CLICK!... I was gonna play Pantera's album FAR BEYOND DRIVE real loud.. so nobody could hear the blast... but, I also thought about the scene when my parents came... my body on the floor of their bedroom, my head blown off, the puddle of blood... my moms going crazy at the sight of her "baby" lying dead there.... my pops.. I couldn't imagine what his reaction would be... (and a few days he had talked to me about the foolishness of committing suicide and not being brave enough to face the problems of life, and he told me about when he found my brother cutting his wrist with a knife, about to commit suicide, that was the second time I ever saw my father crying...), and I told to myself.. I cannot go out like that... this can't be the way my life is going to end... so I decided to put up with my life... like 4 months later I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel... I got out of that depression triumphantly, unfortunately, being an atheist...
    I learned how to express myself, I learned how to read, how to write and
    I continued with my thesis project, finished it, received my Bachelors Degree in computer sciences, enrolled in a Research Center to obtain my Masters Degree... and 2 years later, I found the girl of my dreams... and THE LORD SHOWED ME HIS MERCY AND SAVED ME... now, I have my 3 kids, my wife, and the best gift THE LORD'S SALVATION.... can you imagine what would've happened if I'd decided to pull the trigger without taking the bullets out of that gun??....

    Let me tell you something, when we are in a lot of stress, and suicidal thoughts come to our mind, we believe that is the real way out, but it is not.. you might think the problems end, but no, that's not true... it is only a selfish thought, you are only thinking about YOU, not the people around YOU (your family, your friends, your loved ones...)... now, remember that when we are walking with the LORD, we are not our owners or masters, we cannot make decisions like that, The LORD is only one who can decide who lives and who dies, not US...

    God bless you

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  11. #26
    HCR Ole' Head eve's Avatar
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    chema sooooo illuminated the fallacy of suicide because: none of us know the future! things are going to get better, all kinds of benefits are around the corner, decades of life are valuable ... but you'll miss out on all that if you cut your life short.
    Last edited by eve; 11-17-2009 at 03:55 PM.

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  13. #27
    HCR Veterano albraggs's Avatar
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    wow, thanks for sharing this, chemaeimc. I really appreciate it a lot. I have decide to see a counselor next semester in school. I will be praying with my prayer partner. Thanks again.

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  15. #28
    HCR Ole' Head shekinahsmoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by albraggs View Post
    wow, thanks for sharing this, chemaeimc. I really appreciate it a lot. I have decide to see a counselor next semester in school. I will be praying with my prayer partner. Thanks again.
    *super smile*
    ----------
    Please Help If You Have the Means:
    www.tainashope.org

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  17. #29
    HCR Veterano
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    Quote Originally Posted by albraggs View Post
    wow, thanks for sharing this, chemaeimc. I really appreciate it a lot. I have decide to see a counselor next semester in school. I will be praying with my prayer partner. Thanks again.
    I PRAISE THE LORD THE LORD!!!

    This is one of the reasons God allows us to go through hard times, I believe He does that so that we can help others that are going thru similar situations.... I once heard a preacher say that you cannot guide someone through the desert if you've never been in that desert yourself, using the example of Moses, and how Moses when he fled from Egypt went through the same desert he'd take the people of Israel through years later...

    Listen to this sermon by a great Bible Scholar named Jacob Prasch. (one of my favorite Bible expositors), the sermon is called "The End of the Road", enjoy..

    God bless you

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  19. #30
    HCR Ole' Head d.hyde's Avatar
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    I thank God for all y'all. 4real.

  20. #31
    HCR Veterano albraggs's Avatar
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    I just wanted to say, that I finally was able to see my counselor. I was able to talk to her and tell her what has been going on. I am just praying that everything will work out. Thanks again for praying

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  22. #32
    HCR Veterano albraggs's Avatar
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    Default I thought I just update you allÖ.

    Well, last semester was really hard for me. I was mentoring five girls, had two jobs and a full schedule and on top of that I was taking classes that were bringing up childhood issues that I thought I worked out. Going through counseling I realized a lot about myself. As a young girl I felt like I did not belong to anyone or that anyone loved me. I could not call my mom “mom,” lost my dad to cancer and while in school my peers made fun of me. I had to come home to deal with verbal abuse from my family. I felt like I could not run to anyone. Almost every day I came home asking God “why He put me on this earth.” I felt like there was no purpose of me being here so I wanted to kill myself, just wanted the pain to go away. I felt so ugly, unworthy, stupid, slow and invisible by everyone. I see now how my past as affected me and how I relate to people. I am closed off from people, can’t let people around me too long, because I have a fear of getting hurt and people leaving me. I felt like there was something wrong with me and I could not understand. I was so depressed and I hate who I was and what I looked like. I could not go outside or even look myself in the mirror. I’m not good building relationships and I find myself really lonely and it hurts a lot. I am afraid of people and I have anxieties when I am surrounded by people. Being in counseling, I had to face the truth and tell how I was feeling and that as a young woman I still felt like that little girl who was in pain. I was holding so much inside. I also come to realize a lot of lies I believed that I was told by people. I really seeking God and asking Him to free me every day. But I am just running to God, knowing that He loves me, and that I am not invisible to Him.

    I will continue to see my counselor next semester….I thank God for you all. Thanks for caring and praying.

    Your sister in Christ
    Asia
    Last edited by albraggs; 04-14-2010 at 12:02 AM.

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