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  1. #1
    HCR Veterano
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    Default I am sick of life

    And this is not the first time...I am plain tired! I can't take it anymore. Trials just keep getting worse and worse - I honestly want God to pull the plug because I'm too worn out to do it myself. I'm tired of sucking at everything except for school. Even in school, it's hard...and everyone seems to have it together. Tonight, after a phone call I got, it just hit me hard. I have no ministry, and no purpose on this earth, basically. I'm a liability to my father with all this senseless going to college and not contributing one cent to the family. I'm just taking up space. I'm sick of this life. If there is anything I have been hoping for most in life, it's to die. And I'm not joking.

    Peace.

  2. #2
    HCR Veterano topherstyles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neeciu View Post
    And this is not the first time...I am plain tired! I can't take it anymore. Trials just keep getting worse and worse - I honestly want God to pull the plug because I'm too worn out to do it myself. I'm tired of sucking at everything except for school. Even in school, it's hard...and everyone seems to have it together. Tonight, after a phone call I got, it just hit me hard. I have no ministry, and no purpose on this earth, basically. I'm a liability to my father with all this senseless going to college and not contributing one cent to the family. I'm just taking up space. I'm sick of this life. If there is anything I have been hoping for most in life, it's to die. And I'm not joking.

    Peace.
    First of all don't say your sick, it will draw sickness to you. NO JOKE!

    1.Trails only make you stronger. Even some of the most beautifulest flowers have to weather the storm.

    2.Who says you have no minstry is a fool! Only God decides that. If you are pleasing the Lord with your life then "you" "have a ministry."

    3. THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!

    4.When all else stand. Stand and let the Joy of the Lord overtake you.

    5. School/money/clothes/looks/anything carnal dosen't make you. Your spirit make you who you are.

    6.Feed your spirit as much as you can with the WORD. And other "Christ Minded" book.

    7. Jesus is you best friend, cause everybody else will let you down at one point, or in any season. But HE won't.

    8.Live life very slow. You have a minisrty, you just have to grow into it. Like shoes.

    If you need anymore advice, pm anytime mami....
    I want to be chuck's brother black friend.

  3. #3
    HCR Veterano
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    No one said I have no ministry but me. Dance is the only ministry I have (or had, as of now).
    And this isn't a one-time thing - I have had humongous trials all my life. Ever had a father who told you were ugly, while he knew you suffered with low self-esteem? Ever had cousins and aunts who wanted to throw you out of your own house? Please...it's so obvious no one wants me here. Can't wait till *poof* I'm gone.

  4. #4
    Young Bol
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    Quote Originally Posted by neeciu View Post
    And this is not the first time...I am plain tired! I can't take it anymore. Trials just keep getting worse and worse - I honestly want God to pull the plug because I'm too worn out to do it myself. I'm tired of sucking at everything except for school. Even in school, it's hard...and everyone seems to have it together. Tonight, after a phone call I got, it just hit me hard. I have no ministry, and no purpose on this earth, basically. I'm a liability to my father with all this senseless going to college and not contributing one cent to the family. I'm just taking up space. I'm sick of this life. If there is anything I have been hoping for most in life, it's to die. And I'm not joking.

    Peace.
    I'm gonna send one up for ya.

  5. #5
    Young Bol G-Zus's Avatar
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    Praying...

  6. #6
    HCR Veterano Danielle's Avatar
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    neeciu you need to seek God and not look at things from your own natural eyes, everyone has a purpose, seek God for yours. Have you ever thought that maybe you were placed on that campus to change things and bring souls to Christ, get on the grind, there is no time to allow Satan to roam in your life.

  7. #7
    HCR Veterano montenell's Avatar
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    praying

  8. #8
    HCR Veterano savedbygracealone's Avatar
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    neeci, nothing we do is in and of ourselves. we can do NOTHING except that He grant us the grace and ability and power to do it. we cannot even BLINK without Him giving us the ability... do you not think that the God who created the HEAVENS AND THE EARTH, who ROSE LAZARUS FROM THE GRAVE, who ascended from the grave to sit at the right hand of the Father... do you not think this God is powerful enough, no matter WHAT circumstance you are in, to be able to lead you and guide you and accomplish HIS purpose for you life? you are liviing unto yourself. you are trying to figure things out for yourself. you want your ministry for yourself... submit to Christ, and let Him lead!!! stop trying to work it out in your own power... YOU HAVE NONE. NONE OF US HAVE ANY POWER but the only power we have comes from the one with ALL POWER. trust in Him! i am praying for you sis!

    2 Cor 12
    8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
    Last edited by savedbygracealone; 11-15-2006 at 01:44 PM.

  9. #9
    HCR Familia nubia7's Avatar
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    i've been there sista!!! and, i'm praying for you.

    i had some of the same experiences. you ever had your own cousin (one of your favorites at that) look at her mother (my aunt) and say " i want to go to my other cousins house because they have more toys." Or, have some of the cutest boys in the school walk pass you in a crowded high school hall and yell "look at that ugly, girl , matter of fact, hey ugly girl!!!" Oh, and have a mother who condescends you when you don't do things her way. Well, that's all happened to me plenty of times.

    (i'm basically putting myself out here on the www because i care...everyone that said they will be praying or saw this thread care too!!!..believe me i'm not that open about my past hurts or flaws!!)

    Girl, THE ALMIGTHY GOD, CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE SENT HIS SON TO DIE FOR YOUR SINS!!!
    Yes, you! So obviously, HE's using you as an instrument to paint HIS Glory. i'll say that's a tremendous ministry and you didn't do a thing to deserve it. that's always a "quicker pick-her upper." The events in your life and mine emotionally and spiritually God uses to make us stronger in our faith (TRUST..total dependency on HIM) so that we will seek HIM in all...i encourage you to read and meditate on James 1.

    i hope you take the time to realize that everything works for the good..even these days when you are frustrated and tired. i don't know you personally but from some of your post i've read you have a beautiful personality...and if i may quote Precise "a godly Woman is GORGEOUS!!!"
    "The True Woman Movement is about taking God seriously. Itís about Godís Word and ways completely capturing and captivating our hearts." -Mary Kassian

  10. #10
    HCR Ole' Head BlackCalvinist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neeciu View Post
    No one said I have no ministry but me. Dance is the only ministry I have (or had, as of now).
    And this isn't a one-time thing - I have had humongous trials all my life. Ever had a father who told you were ugly, while he knew you suffered with low self-esteem? Ever had cousins and aunts who wanted to throw you out of your own house? Please...it's so obvious no one wants me here. Can't wait till *poof* I'm gone.

    Beautiful daughter,

    God made you and you are beautiful, special and loved. While your blood family may not appreciate you, your spiritual family - including me and other folk here on HCR, appreciate you, love and care about you tremendously, though most of us have never met you. We love your transparency, your life, your talent, your humor, your personality and your spirit - and each one of our days would be a bit poorer, sadder and a bit less happy without seeing your name pop up on the active users' list daily.

    There are people in your own life whom you may not recongize as feeling the same way, but they do.

    Know that you are both fearfully (that points to the great value and reverence we should honor your life with) and wonderfully (which accounts for the sheer AWESOMENESS of God's creation of a human life) made. You are unique. There is no other Eunice. And that's a good thing - simply because that alone makes you special. I know that I personally have been blessed in my short amount of time interacting with you over the board and in cyberspace.

    I know the pain of wanting God to pull the plug. Many great men and women of God (like William Cowper - pronounced 'cooper') suffered and struggled with depression.

    Immerse your mind in the scrips, sis. And keep praying. Know that others are praying for you and for your life and circumstances to change. Know that we are praying to God for your comfort and to keep you. You are not alone, sis.

    SDG
    Kerry
    STILL BLACK :: STILL REFORMED :: STILL AROUND
    (just not on HCR as much)
    http://blackcalvinist.com

  11. #11
    Young Bol Jito el Cubano's Avatar
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    Man, don't make me come to Denton... Naw, hold your head and pray seriously. There's people who wish they could be in college at 26, never mind 16, among other advantages that you have. I got you sis, you know we all support you here.

  12. #12
    Young Bol ex hiphop fan's Avatar
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    Neecui. It pains me to see you talking like this. I remember you from the CMR boards. I hope from the time that you post this thread till now some prayer has helped you. It may hurt but be not weary in well doing. Life isn't just like that for you. But many are chosen to endure trying and trying hardships. I could tell you never ending story's from my wifes history of mental and emotional brutal and intentionally malicious events one after the next in a never ending cycle. And I mean a daily basis and all coming from family, ie mom, dad, sisters, brothers, cousins and on and on. Personal violation, family members successfully plotting and taking your one and only son away for monentary purposes man on and on and on. I just say that to hopefully let you see its not just you. You may seemingly be enduring more than others but take refuge in that plenty of others have had to endure in the same fashion as well and GOD has been faithful to them. Seeing them thru every situation and circumstance and afterwords bringing them into a NEW LIFE! One removed far from all the long term malicious actions towards them from others. My wife is a living testament to that. Please keep your encourgment up knowing that ALL things are temperal. Even hardships and there effects. And that there most certianly is a BIGGER picture that GOD is designing in the mist of it all. Be well and GB!
    GOD bless!!!

  13. #13
    HCR Ole' Head jnorman888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neeciu View Post
    And this is not the first time...I am plain tired! I can't take it anymore. Trials just keep getting worse and worse - I honestly want God to pull the plug because I'm too worn out to do it myself. I'm tired of sucking at everything except for school. Even in school, it's hard...and everyone seems to have it together. Tonight, after a phone call I got, it just hit me hard. I have no ministry, and no purpose on this earth, basically. I'm a liability to my father with all this senseless going to college and not contributing one cent to the family. I'm just taking up space. I'm sick of this life. If there is anything I have been hoping for most in life, it's to die. And I'm not joking.

    Peace.


    Just hold on sis. You only have probly like two more years left of school so just hang in there.
    Last edited by jnorman888; 11-15-2006 at 05:38 PM.

  14. #14
    HCR Ole' Head shekinahsmoke's Avatar
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    DONT .. LET .. IT .. CRUSH .. YOU. Now return to the scripture Jolene posted.. now lemme say it again...

    DONT LET IT CRUSH YOU.

    and just so you know, being in the Christ we know, this is sin. Be joyful and encouraged. You eat daily. Be joyful and encouraged. Your sins are forgiven. Be joyful and encouraged. GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. Be joyful and encouraged. And HE KNOWS YOU BY NAME.
    Last edited by shekinahsmoke; 11-15-2006 at 11:16 PM.
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    www.tainashope.org

  15. #15
    HCR Veterano Shock~Therapy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neeciu View Post
    And this is not the first time...I am plain tired! I can't take it anymore. Trials just keep getting worse and worse - I honestly want God to pull the plug because I'm too worn out to do it myself. I'm tired of sucking at everything except for school. Even in school, it's hard...and everyone seems to have it together. Tonight, after a phone call I got, it just hit me hard. I have no ministry, and no purpose on this earth, basically. I'm a liability to my father with all this senseless going to college and not contributing one cent to the family. I'm just taking up space. I'm sick of this life. If there is anything I have been hoping for most in life, it's to die. And I'm not joking.

    Peace.
    Sis, your purpose on earth is to glorify God, please don't ever forget that. Do you have close sisters in Christ to hold you accountable? If not, I will pray that God will send them your way and that you will recognize them.
    I've been where you've been at, believe that. I've been disowned by those closest to me and my church family whom I thought I could trust betrayed and backstabbed me, was in financial turmoil, no job, no car, sleeping on the floor. But understand this is only for a season although, it will pass Sis. I pray that you continue to hold on.... actually scratch that... let go and let God.

  16. #16
    HCR Veterano StreetSermonz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neeciu View Post
    And this is not the first time...I am plain tired! I can't take it anymore. Trials just keep getting worse and worse - I honestly want God to pull the plug because I'm too worn out to do it myself. I'm tired of sucking at everything except for school. Even in school, it's hard...and everyone seems to have it together. Tonight, after a phone call I got, it just hit me hard. I have no ministry, and no purpose on this earth, basically. I'm a liability to my father with all this senseless going to college and not contributing one cent to the family. I'm just taking up space. I'm sick of this life. If there is anything I have been hoping for most in life, it's to die. And I'm not joking.

    Peace.
    I'm praying for you sis, I'm going through the same things, battling the same thoughts, but as cliche as this is, it still stands true... THE devil IS A LIAR!! Consider it joy that the LORD would allow you to go through these afflications, because it is when we suffer with Him that we reign, and God will work all these things out for your good. Continue to seek God and ask Him to teach you how to deal with all that you are going through, and in putting your focus on the LORD it will create contentment within you, strength and perseverence. The answer is in Jesus. He saved you for a reason, and you do have a ministry.

    Matthew 11:28-29
    Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
    Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

    If you need ANYTHING, don't hesitate to contact me, and I'm sure most other people on this forum feel the same way. We are in this together.


    I was in a real low place today, about ready to give up, and I opened my Bible and God brought me to the following scriptures, read them when you get a chance:

    Isaiah 54:11-17

    and

    Revelation 21

  17. #17
    HCR Veterano albraggs's Avatar
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    Wow sis, Plz sis talk to God about it and to LET HIM handle it. We CAN'T do anything by ourselfs and think that we will be okay. I know how you feel sis. But plz sis if you need someone you can ALWAYS call me or one of your sisters and/or brothers in Christ. We all love you. Keep your head up and stay strong. God Bless you

    ur sis in Christ
    Asia

  18. #18
    ctide
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    you got a phone number?

  19. #19
    HCR Veterano nar8ta's Avatar
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    Neeci I'll kick a demon in the mouth for you!


    No Long speech, I Love you Little princess! You have a bright future ahead of you!

    when your despised by man, GOD Loves you the more!


    No to all that you have said!................................Roman 8 vs 37-39



    Lee

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