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1stladie04
11-30-2009, 11:12 PM
Hey world 1st ladie and im back. God Knows that I need a lot of prayer i pray for myself and through this situation a lot and let it go. Well I gues you would want to know the problem. Well Im 23 years old now and im still a virgin trying to wait patiently for what god wants to send me. I really been trying to date and see whats out there. I never really start talking to guys to recently because i have been hurt in the passed and wasnt in realationships but any how this guy that wants to talk to me i dont really want to talk to him when i 1st meet him it was at my job and he told me you know god my friend and this and that ..... to make a long story short he plays drum at his church and he talk about god or whatever but its not as strong as i want it to be. he have two kids which are twins and i always told myself i dont want to get in a realationship like that after dateing him for 5 mths i invited him to my house that another mistake and he kissed my neck etc etc and i just feel like what is this. its crazy how you say one thing and do another at 23 years old i feel that it no men out there that will wait for sex till marriage and after tell him you know i dont wanna a kiss and all that he still made that happen also. its just crazy i know living the chritian life isnt easy but im tired of being the lonly chick in the bunch i dont want sex or nothing just some one to hug and say to how has your day been to massgae my shoulders when there uptight thats all..............

illuminaticx
12-02-2009, 01:28 AM
Courtship

Phase 1: Identity in Christ.

Commit yourself to being sold out to Christ. Be involved in activities that instill spiritual growth. Be fully engaged to Christ and be confident with who God created and designed you to be. (Romans 8:28)

Phase 2: Ministry involvement.

Be involved in ministry. Serve Christ in the ministry and gain the experience in what itís like to serve others and utilize the gifts and talents God has given you in ministry. This is a great way to learn to love by sacrificially yielding yourself to meet the needs of others. (Matthew 20:26-28)

Phase 3: Foundation building.

Lay a foundation for your future. (Matthew 7:24-27)
Prepare to lay the foundation for a secure Christian home:

-Spiritual maturity
-Accountability
-Emotional health
-Financial stability
-Vocational training
-Parent training
-Household training
-Commitment

Emotional commitment= None. At this stage you should not be emotionally involved. Make sure you get rid of any and all emotional baggage before you decide to court.

No physical commitment or contact.

There are a few more phases but you if you havenít begun to lay a foundation for courtship youíre probably not ready to get into a relationship.

Dating

Dating is a casual romantic linking of a couple simply to enjoy each otherís company for the present. Immediate pleasure is the purpose for dating.

Emotional commitments are made, too advanced in some cases, which unfortunately will leave one person hurt when the other friend decides to end the relationship. There are usually no commitments made to marry. Dating usually leads to emotional problems in a personís life.

Physical commitment is sometimes made without accountability and the couple tends to spend far too much time alone. Courtship discourages spending time alone without accountability. Dating can lead to a failed relationship when the couple gives into sexual immorality.

Courtship phase 4: Friendship levels.

-Acquaintance: No emotional intimacy.
Develop a life vision and direction about serving God. Be content being single.

-Casual: No emotional intimacy.
Discuss and share things about the Lord in a group setting. Share close friends but avoid deep spiritual one on one talk.

-Close friends: Share deeper feelings but limited emotional involvement.
Share with one another Godís vision for your lives. Focus on external social activities. Discover each otherís spiritual gifts, maturity level and desire to serve God. Experience deeper spiritual talk but limited.

-Intimate friendship: Share innermost thoughts, feelings fears, failures and hopes.
Begin intimate spiritual talk related at the deepest level. Begin discussing marriage and a commitment to courtship with the purpose of getting married.

Phase 5: Courtship.
Spend one on one time together through shared prayer time and church attendance. Commit your courtship to glorifying Christ and helping each other grow in Christ. Begin pre-engagement counseling. Seek your parents for accountability and counseling. Increase one on one emotional involvement. Limited physical involvement.

Phase 6: Engagement.

Phase 7: Marriage.

These are just some notes from, ďChoosing Godís Best.Ē Just to give you an idea of dating vs. courtship. Trust the Lord to bring you your mate. (Genesis 24:14-21)

i will be praying... God Bless,

J =]