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Da'Legend
10-27-2009, 01:51 PM
I really don't know what to do any more. I have struggled with depression in the past but never like I am now. I am at the end of my ropes and I really don't know what is going on any more. I really have nothing but Christ.

This has been the most negative year in my life. I lost all but a couple life long friends, but even they dont understand what I'm going through. They can't! They're all in houston. As wack, or corny as it sounds; yal are really the only friends I have right now. The few friends I have left in houston never txt or call. I guess I'm asking too much.

I believe I did right thing by leaving my old church because of doctrinal issues. They labled me a rebel, blasphemer of the Holy Spirit, an idiot, and other things. They tell other youth who vouch for me that if I come back, they would rather me just get out again. I want to find a good, sound, biblical, solid church but now I've been without a church for nearly a year. I walked out of a church Sunday. The whole church search has not been progressive at all

I try to motivate myself to read and pray but my spiritual life is just suffering more and more. I ask God to be patient with me. I beg him to. Some days I just dive into the word and soak it up, while other days I'll be luck to just dip a finger in.

My mentor/disciple never calls to check up on me. I understand he works and is married.but I have no accountability. At all. I am hungry for accountability.

My depression has gotten worse. I may look fine on here but I really am not. Yesterday all I did was lay in my room. I only went out for food.

I just want to build back up again. Pray for me yal, I really am at the end of my ropes and can't take any more. Have you ever felt like this? Where you believed you did right but everything came crashing down? Where you just want God to assure you that you're in his will? Lord have mercy on me

chozzen
10-27-2009, 02:11 PM
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I know where your coming from, i'm currently in the middle of looking for a church that will help me grow and its proving to be a VERY difficult task. You just need to remember that the Lord is with you and what you go through can make you or break you. Keep praying and fasting for a church soon you will find one. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you will get through this tough time

God Bless

eve
10-27-2009, 02:38 PM
praying for you, bro. seriously. thanks for your transparency.

what's the deal with your church search, fam? have you checked out 9marks (http://www.9marks.org/) (peep Believer's Chapel (http://www.bfsatx.org/), Grace Community Church (http://www.gccsatx.com/), or Parkhill Church (http://www.parkhills.org/)) or a local sovereign grace (http://www.lcmin.org/) or even a solid calvary chapel (http://calvarychapel.com/searchresult.cfm?q=san+antonio+tx&proximity=25&z=10)? fellowship in a sound, FRIENDLY church is CRITICAL. please go out for some midweek fellowship somewhere in the last sentence, bro. why don't you do it this week.

God'll pull you out. remember that He wants you to walk with Him. continue staying in contact with Him through prayer & the Word as you walk with Him, step-by-step. and keep it real ... He knows you inside out, but abiding in Him is what He wants you to do.

Prayers going up for you now, fam.

David L
10-27-2009, 02:41 PM
I really don't know what to do any more. I have struggled with depression in the past but never like I am now. I am at the end of my ropes and I really don't know what is going on any more. I really have nothing but Christ.

This has been the most negative year in my life. I lost all but a couple life long friends, but even they dont understand what I'm going through. They can't! They're all in houston. As wack, or corny as it sounds; yal are really the only friends I have right now. The few friends I have left in houston never txt or call. I guess I'm asking too much.

I believe I did right thing by leaving my old church because of doctrinal issues. They labled me a rebel, blasphemer of the Holy Spirit, an idiot, and other things. They tell other youth who vouch for me that if I come back, they would rather me just get out again. I want to find a good, sound, biblical, solid church but now I've been without a church for nearly a year. I walked out of a church Sunday. The whole church search has not been progressive at all

I try to motivate myself to read and pray but my spiritual life is just suffering more and more. I ask God to be patient with me. I beg him to. Some days I just dive into the word and soak it up, while other days I'll be luck to just dip a finger in.

My mentor/disciple never calls to check up on me. I understand he works and is married.but I have no accountability. At all. I am hungry for accountability.

My depression has gotten worse. I may look fine on here but I really am not. Yesterday all I did was lay in my room. I only went out for food.

I just want to build back up again. Pray for me yal, I really am at the end of my ropes and can't take any more. Have you ever felt like this? Where you believed you did right but everything came crashing down? Where you just want God to assure you that you're in his will? Lord have mercy on me

Fam,

I went through the same thing when I left my old church. Everybody in my family turned against me and I had nobody on my side but the LORD. It was very lonely. This is the path you will walk when you take a stand for the truth. You have to surround yourself with a new family though. You can't just remain idle. There you may find 1 or 2 good men. I did... I found 2 of them. They're my closest brethren in the faith.

Believe it or not -- the majority of my growth and fellowship has taken place online through message boards. LOL

I love yall internet believers. =P

montenell
10-27-2009, 02:59 PM
praying for you, i know what its like currently i have no saved friends in my city. i have saved friends in the country but locally i have none, the people i've met locally who are saved always talk about hooking up and then you hear nothing, it can be frustrating. I changed churches not long ago and i'm so glad i did, now my objective is to get involved I believe as i get involved the right relationships will form main thing is being focused and not giving up.

FollowerOfChrist1
10-27-2009, 04:37 PM
Praying for you bro, please stay encouraged.

*HUG*

:)

Lady Car
10-27-2009, 06:18 PM
Lifting you up in prayer now Kingdom sibling! Know that you are accepted in the Beloved...a royal citizen of the Household of faith...loved and treasured by the King of all Glory who purchased you in His own blood!! You are His son...a vessel of honor, man of God! I pray the Lord grants you wisdom by the Holy Spirit in leading you to local assembly of solid covenant believers who will lovingly receive you...pour into you...build you up and among whom you can express the grace of God through the gifts and ministry entrusted to you-bearing fruit for glory of Jesus Christ!!

Be encouraged fam!! Keep us posted!

Cowboy
10-27-2009, 06:26 PM
Praying for you. Check out my response to Asia in her thread. I would say something similar to that to you. I gave a "bright" version of my current life in that one, so, be encouraged that you're not alone.

And if you makes you feel any better, I now believe that you've advanced from your annual joke to a quarterly joke. :)

Cowboy
10-27-2009, 07:52 PM
Also, here's a few songs to just sit back and listen to through this time. I know music helps me, so maybe it will help you as well:

Mat Kearney-"Renaissance": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVfiVr7S1WQ

Alexi Murdoch-"Orange Sky": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWI6pX8hrK4&feature=related

Anberlin-"Breathe": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVRJrRqjU7M

Coldplay-"The Scientist": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmjPrdTNxQ0&feature=fvst

Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds-"Bartender"(you'll see why): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JphjsCqsZ4Q

Death Cab for Cutie-"A Lack of Color": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jduFDgIr598

Coldplay-"Fix You": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skUJ-B6oVDQ

The Fray-"You Found Me": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhdTlImFBo

Jon Foreman-"Lord Save Me From Myself": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnPWtYzGORs

Lifehouse-"Everything": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeRJJfQhGLA

Mat Kearney-"Where Do We Go From Here"(special video for ya): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QxsHjhsyGc

Mike Burns-"More Than a Song": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WETeC9SS5AA

Owl City-"Fireflies": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw

Owl City-"Cave In": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGSB98RskJM

Postal Service-"Clark Gable": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yryZvd6aqME

Switchfoot-"You": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDadO8xKBEQ

U2-"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fBj2wsimvQ

U2-"Where the Streets Have No Name": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDkBzkA9L4s

U2-"Moment of Surrender": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8lBsbjes9I


Some of these songs have spiritual significance, some might relate to how you're feeling, and some are just good music. I hope that it helps, even in just bringing some clarity to how you're truly feeling, or maybe just accomplishing a smile on your face again.

iron_jae
10-27-2009, 08:02 PM
Praying for you fam. I've been there too. I moved from my church because of doctrinal issues. I don't talk to anyone from there anymore. I try calling some of them to build but no one calls me back. For the most part everyone who posted has been the a similar situation as you, even Elijah felt alone. Stay strong.

illuminaticx
10-27-2009, 08:34 PM
I will be praying brO. Do you still live in Houston?

J =]

BlackCalvinist
10-28-2009, 10:29 AM
There are four PCA churches in San Antonio.


Redeemer Presbyterian Church (http://javascript%3Cb%3E%3C/b%3E:makeWin%28%27churchinfo.cfm?OrgID=4444%27%29) San Antonio TX 210-930-4480 info@redeemersa.org www.redeemersa.org (http://www.redeemersa.org/) Rev. Thomas C. Gibbs

Trinity Presbyterian Church (http://javascript%3Cb%3E%3C/b%3E:makeWin%28%27churchinfo.cfm?OrgID=4842%27%29) San Antonio TX 830-815-1212 info@trinityboerne.org www.trinityboerne.org (http://www.trinityboerne.org/) Rev. Allen R. Taha

Oakwood Presbyterian Church (http://javascript%3Cb%3E%3C/b%3E:makeWin%28%27churchinfo.cfm?OrgID=1448%27%29) San Antonio TX 210-737-9000 - www.OakwoodChurch.com/ (http://www.oakwoodchurch.com/) Dr. Jon D. Green

Faith Presbyterian Church (http://javascript%3Cb%3E%3C/b%3E:makeWin%28%27churchinfo.cfm?OrgID=362%27%29) San Antonio TX 210-492-8038 faithpca@satx.rr.com www.faithpca.com (http://www.faithpca.com/)

Check their websites and see what's up. Call the pastor, ask some questions, go visit and get CONNECTED WITH A LOCAL BODY. It's the PCA, so you're going to get solid teaching. All four look good to me (on the website). Check them out.

PoLemiCs
10-28-2009, 11:28 AM
I really don't know what to do any more. I have struggled with depression in the past but never like I am now. I am at the end of my ropes and I really don't know what is going on any more. I really have nothing but Christ.

This has been the most negative year in my life. I lost all but a couple life long friends, but even they dont understand what I'm going through. They can't! They're all in houston. As wack, or corny as it sounds; yal are really the only friends I have right now. The few friends I have left in houston never txt or call. I guess I'm asking too much.

I believe I did right thing by leaving my old church because of doctrinal issues. They labled me a rebel, blasphemer of the Holy Spirit, an idiot, and other things. They tell other youth who vouch for me that if I come back, they would rather me just get out again. I want to find a good, sound, biblical, solid church but now I've been without a church for nearly a year. I walked out of a church Sunday. The whole church search has not been progressive at all

I try to motivate myself to read and pray but my spiritual life is just suffering more and more. I ask God to be patient with me. I beg him to. Some days I just dive into the word and soak it up, while other days I'll be luck to just dip a finger in.

My mentor/disciple never calls to check up on me. I understand he works and is married.but I have no accountability. At all. I am hungry for accountability.

My depression has gotten worse. I may look fine on here but I really am not. Yesterday all I did was lay in my room. I only went out for food.

I just want to build back up again. Pray for me yal, I really am at the end of my ropes and can't take any more. Have you ever felt like this? Where you believed you did right but everything came crashing down? Where you just want God to assure you that you're in his will? Lord have mercy on me

Sounds like your being called to preach.....:wink:

D, I've been through the same thing bro....The Lord will surely bring you through this and will strengthen your faith and use you to bring others from their error.....watch.....I'm no prophet just a hunch from experience

Da'Legend
10-28-2009, 06:09 PM
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I know where your coming from, i'm currently in the middle of looking for a church that will help me grow and its proving to be a VERY difficult task. You just need to remember that the Lord is with you and what you go through can make you or break you. Keep praying and fasting for a church soon you will find one. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you will get through this tough time

God Bless
Thanks alot, I appreciate that. Haven't seen you around, gonna stick around a little more now or what?

Praying for you. Check out my response to Asia in her thread. I would say something similar to that to you. I gave a "bright" version of my current life in that one, so, be encouraged that you're not alone.

And if you makes you feel any better, I now believe that you've advanced from your annual joke to a quarterly joke. :)
Thanks bro I read your respons to Asia and it def hit home in many areas. Thanks for the songs as well, I downloaded some already. Chris, you are one of the people that make me laugh on here, and for that I thank you. So don't stop making fun of me :) <-----Look I smiled!



Well yes illum, I am in San Antonio, atleast for now. I don't have a clue what God is doing anymore! He's so unpredictable! I guess that's where we are to just shut up and let God do his thing, he always does. I'll PM you about something else.

Kerry & Eve
Thank yal for all the links yal have shared with me. I'm sure by this time yal are frustrated or close to getting frustrated with me because it probably looks like I haven't looked enougth for a church. Trust me I have. I don't take yal's advice and just skim through, I really do go through link by link :) Thanks. I'll be Visiting a church in about an hour :chatterbox:

Thanks to everyone else who posted and is praying, and anyone who didn't post but is praying. Thank you everyone for encouragement. Thanks for all those who shared a bit of what they've come from, it really builds my faith when others tell me that they came from similar situations.

As for that habichuela who just posted, I think you're crazy for saying that. But thanks for ALL of your encouragement and I hope the little ones are doing good

mzsoulll
10-29-2009, 01:54 PM
I will definitely be keeping you in my prayers dude. I haven't been through the exact same circumstance...but depression, loneliness, and feeling distant from God are things I've dealt with strongly. It feels like it's impossible to get better. But the Lord is faithful and is with us. He will strengthen you during this storm.