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loveschild
09-22-2009, 12:51 PM
In January, I found out my husband had been having an affair for over a year (I caught him). In counseling with my pastors, I was instructed not to speak on it because of the effect it would have on my family, friends, etc. Unfortunately, because I have been keeping it inside, I have become angry, bitter and lonely.

My husband is very outgoing and I am quiet. Because of that, people are drawn to him. Sometimes, this causes anger and jealousy. I don't have any friends and when I go to church and he is at work, the only conversation I get is "Hey, where is your husband?"

It has been 8 months and I am still struggling with unforgiveness towards him. At first, I decided to stay and work on the relationship, but later changed my mind. As soon as I made the decision to leave and notified him and my pastors, I lost my job a few days later. Now I can not afford to leave and my life is in so much turmoil.

Sometimes it is so hard I just want to walk away from everything. That's how I know Jesus is real. He is the only one keeping me. If I didn't have Jesus, things would be much worse.

I don't mean to ramble; keep me lifted in prayer.

thankfull
09-22-2009, 06:20 PM
praying. I don't know why your church is saying to keep it in. That is not healthy. I think you should seek counseling outside of your local body. Where do u live?

loveschild
09-22-2009, 07:16 PM
I was told that sin is like a disease and it needs to be contained (quarrantined). On one hand I understand. If I go around talking about what he did and how it hurt me, it has the potential to discourage weaker saints. It also will cause others to change their perception of him. After being caught in sin, it is hard for people to view you the way they did before. Ask Jimmy Swaggart or Jim Baker.

However, on the other hand, how does that allow the injured person to get the support they need from the body?

I thought about seeking counseling, but I don't want it to be secular. To answer your other question, I am in NC.

Thanks for the prayers and words.

thankfull
09-22-2009, 07:51 PM
I was told that sin is like a disease and it needs to be contained (quarrantined). On one hand I understand. If I go around talking about what he did and how it hurt me, it has the potential to discourage weaker saints. It also will cause others to change their perception of him. After being caught in sin, it is hard for people to view you the way they did before. Ask Jimmy Swaggart or Jim Baker.

However, on the other hand, how does that allow the injured person to get the support they need from the body?

I thought about seeking counseling, but I don't want it to be secular. To answer your other question, I am in NC.

Thanks for the prayers and words.

Thanks for your response. Sin needs to be erradicated and your husband needs to own up to his sin. He broke the vows that God ordained and he needs to confess and repent. So what if others view him differently. He committed the act against God and you.

You should find safe people in your local body to talk to (those not prone to gossip/slander) but this needs to be in the open.

As far as counseling goes, I'm not sure what part of NC you are from, but I do believe there are Christian counselors in that state.

check out newlife.com. (http://www.newlife.com) focusonthefamily.com (http://www.focusonthefamily.com)
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/articles/consider_counseling.aspx This is a direct link for seeking a counselor.
or familylife.com (http://www.familylife.com)

You may be able to get some help from counselors by phone.

Hope that helps!

eternal
09-22-2009, 10:52 PM
I am prayin for you sis. I do encourage you to find a group of mature Christian confidants whom you can share with, and they can serve as encouragers and sound boards for you, to keep you faithful to the word of God.

The church is right to say not to go blabbing it to everyone, that may not work out the best for you. But don't carry this alone. God has given you the church (His saints) for this purpose.