View Full Version : How does this sound?

01-05-2009, 03:18 PM
a teen infatuated with cream, never had dreams
always hung out with the wrong crowd in the streets
never believed an education would lead
a prosperous life through a college degree
captivated by glamorous hollywood fame
couldn't refrain from watchin television all day
his mindset wasn't that hard to explain
a school dropout, unable to maintain good grades
reality never sunk in, but in back of his mind
realized precious time wasted
would lead him to a life of crime
standin on street corners from 9 to 5
an ambition and drive just to sell a dime

01-05-2009, 03:25 PM
You may have to tweak a phrase here and there to get it all to flow smoothly, but otherwise, I thought it was written pretty good.

01-05-2009, 03:27 PM
feeling it.

01-06-2009, 12:33 PM
Sounds tight bro, like it.