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lisajames96
02-05-2007, 04:56 PM
Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: An Interview with Ron and Nancy Anderson


Hey yall,
Check it out at http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php


Usually ladies visit this site, but i think it is helpful to men also to see this side of good Christian couseling for women.
-lisa

eve
02-05-2007, 11:40 PM
ooohhhh ... i want to listen to that!

hopefully this thread won't be on page 12 by the time i try to find itagain!

lisajames96
02-06-2007, 10:24 AM
ooohhhh ... i want to listen to that!

hopefully this thread won't be on page 12 by the time i try to find itagain!
haha...i know right...
I'll just bump this up a bit...

eve
02-07-2007, 08:55 AM
WOW.

i've only listened to Monday's so far, and i urge EVERYONE, men and women on the board, to check this series out.

WOW.

monday's was a beast. check out some quotes from a married couple who had been to hell and back:

"we sat around demanding to be made happy."

"my being right almost cost me my marriage."

"we weren't grounded in the Word." they'd stopped going to church regularly, stopped growing in their faith, and as a result, the rug came from under them.

and finally, one last quote about how the wife got caught up in adultery with a guy at work: "His leg bumped against mine, and I didn't pull my leg away, and he did pull his leg away." WHUH??? this goes to show how vulnerable married women in bad marriages can be to having an "affair." satan is sooo busy.

oh ... i want to recount so much more ... but just listen for yourself!

eve
02-07-2007, 12:28 PM
oh, man.

tuesday's show was great as well.

without giving it away, here is a quote from a conversation the parents had with the wife: "we did not raise you to be happy but to behave!"

this is great, y'all.

click that link lisa gave at the top of this thread, and start withmonday!

lisajames96
02-07-2007, 03:21 PM
Wednesday's was great too. I can't stress enough that couples have to guard their hearts always in marriage and lay a foundation of the Word and prayer in the relationship. Becuase stressful times are gonna come and how each person reacts determines where they are in terms of their relationship with the Lord first, and then their spouse.
Those comments from the readers at the end were so sad. Lord I pray that you help those families and I thank You for what you have done in the families that are whole again.
Men always say( i have never heard one say dfferent) that they never saw "it" coming. Even through the arguments and strife and cold feelings, they thought that they both would tough- it through and not want to physically or even emotionally leave a marriage...
Anyway, bless God for the Anderson's wonderful testimony to the GRACE of God.

eve
02-07-2007, 03:22 PM
ok, ok ... one more comment!

today's installment has to be a great encouragement to married folks. it gets into what happens when a struggling couple's parents get involved ... but the only side they take is a biblical one.

check it out!

eve
02-07-2007, 03:25 PM
I can't stress enough that couples have to guard their hearts always in marriage and lay a foundation of the Word and prayer in the relationship.

wow.

good observation.

i guess this (the above quote) goes to show that when we are single, it helps to get PRACTICE guarding our hearts. or else, i can imagine how difficult it would be if marriage comes around.

thanks again, lisa!

lisajames96
02-07-2007, 03:32 PM
wow.

good observation.

i guess this (the above quote) goes to show that when we are single, it helps to get PRACTICE guarding our hearts. or else, i can imagine how difficult it would be if marriage comes around.

thanks again, lisa!

Exactly,
remember Nancy DeMoss is a single woman, and she has always stressed putting hedges/boundaries up regarding your relationships and reactions to men as a single woman. It all goes back to guarding your heart. And how a single woman does it is just like how a married woman does, with the word, and prayer. For me the added bonus is that I get double the prayers and am washed in the Word by my husband.(trying to remember that verse...arrggg, imma get in trouble:D )j/k

lisajames96
02-08-2007, 10:59 AM
Here's an exerpt from Thrursday's broadcast below. Check the rest of it out( and the last 3 days prior) at http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php


"...Probably the one thing that helped me the most was the verse in 1 Peter 3:7 where the Lord tells us to dwell with your wife in understanding.
For years and years, every comedian on television says, “Oh, I can’t understand my wife.” And that’s the proverbial joke in our culture. But the Lord tells us to dwell with our wives in understanding. So that means it’s possible.
That became my personal mission—to understand my wife. I learned that my wife is more sensitive than my buddy. I learned that I can tease and make wise cracks at my friend’s expense, and my buddy’s, and he’s just going to come back and do the same thing. But when I do it to my wife, it breaks her down emotionally and spiritually. It destroys her. I learned that if my wife says, “Stop tailgating,” that it frightens her, that I should stop tailgating if I love her. Why would I want to frighten her? So I stopped tailgating.
So there’s practical things. What we learned, what I learned as a man . . . The more I understood about my wife, and adapted, and respected those differences that God put in her as a woman, the less of those brush fire arguments we had that turned into World War III in 90 seconds that began to push us away. ..."

eve
02-08-2007, 11:40 AM
Exactly,
remember Nancy DeMoss is a single woman, and she has always stressed putting hedges/boundaries up regarding your relationships and reactions to men as a single woman. It all goes back to guarding your heart. And how a single woman does it is just like how a married woman does, with the word, and prayer. For me the added bonus is that I get double the prayers and am washed in the Word by my husband.(trying to remember that verse...arrggg, imma get in trouble:D )j/k

yeah, that part on wednesday's broadcast caught me.

i naturally don't even think about dudes (married or single) that way. a guy is a guy. remember when she said she doesn't ride in cars with married men? my thought process doesn't even go to that extent, so i wouldn't normally think about having that kind of hedge. a few weeks ago, a married brother in my church drove me to the metro. i must be changing a bit because normally i wouldn't think twice about that but that day it seemed a little weird though i have no attraction to him whatesoever.

so having those hedges is probably helpful to both the woman and the married man. i would hate to be a stumbling block to a married man because of not having hedges and seeing every dude as "just a guy." from my experience, it's soooo easy for dudes to be attracted to women. i find that i get responses when i look the most busted! some dudes (married or single) have a hard time making a covenant with their eyes, though sometimes i think it's an estrogen radar they have, because there are times my hair is pointed every which way and some guy on the street will still say something. women get a bad rep for being weak in that area, but our brothers need help too.

the best point made in this series so far is that as siblings in Christ, we have to be responsible for each other's purity. there shouldn't be a sister or brother (married or single) going through a weak patch who can find themselves clinging to another sibling in Christ inappropriately. that person should be able to see what's going on and respond correctly, because the human mind is wicked.

lisajames96
02-08-2007, 11:49 AM
the best point made in this series so far is that as siblings in Christ, we have to be responsible for each other's purity. there shouldn't be a sister or brother (married or single) going through a weak patch who can find themselves clinging to another sibling in Christ inappropriately. that person should be able to see what's going on and respond correctly, because the human mind is wicked.

great insight eve, but what you just said here. :eek: WISDOM. You can write books all day long on this subject alone.
This is the saint's major issue now. Single or married. Absolutely no discernment, no respect for the weakness of other. Basically not even wanting to KNOW how to help a weaker saint cause it will infringe on their personal privledges that they will not give up in order to serve Christ(helping a bro or sis). I can say this cause I was very guilty of this and have to check myself at times when I start to get that "that's their problem" attitude. PLus it IS the heart of most dying/dead marrieages. One will not let that wall down and humble themselves so that the other can feel loved again, cause they might not get anything out of it in return. So they say why try...okay I went OT of your post, but I hope it didn't sound like nonsense...
Thanks for helping me keep this thread alive sis :) .
There are some bros on here that have marriages that are crumbling, they want to know what to do. But it is a selfless act in obediance to God that is the spark, and it's the hardest part I think.

eve
02-08-2007, 12:46 PM
i really, really request that the people on this board, male and female, who are about to get married LISTEN TO THIS SERIES!!!

and if you already are ... PLEASE LISTEN!

this is such a blessing, and i'm not even married. wow. you guys MUST check this out.

i just finished listening to thursday's segment, and there was soooo much to glean from it.

i love the way she said "feelings follow behavior," so people need to "water their own lawn." this is what gets people in trouble. they think they've "fallen out of love" or have lost their feelings for their spouse ... but the real reason all this is happening is because all their actions are being directed elsewhere! once the wife in this story started behaving a certain way towards her husband again, the feelings followed! wow. feeling are like obedient slaves. they follow behavior every which way the behavior goes. hmmm.

then there were the "love lists" they wrote. these were five specific things that the other does to make them feel loved. it turned out that the requests were always soooo simple, but it means the world to the other spouse when these things were done regularly.

it was interesting how she said, "Ron was a great date before we got married, but then we got married and he stopped dating me." she said they "forgot to have fun," and that they got "busy with chores." that's what marriage boils down to? if so, why are people so pressed for marriage? this might sound bad to some, but i'm having too much fun as a single now to downgrade to having no fun if i marry. not that it's all about globetrotting every day, but that's crazy! i don't know why folks think that the thing that got them married will no longer be needed.

anyway ... i really think the engaged and married people on the board need to check this out.

please go to the top of this thread and listen! you may want to start with monday. they're only about 20 minutes each.

*puts away bullhorn*