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StreetSermonz
12-18-2006, 01:29 PM
I gotta admit that this is difficult for me to explain, but I want to be transparant. I've been fighting anxiety attacks, it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. God is taking me through a lot of trials right now, and I praise Him for it all, but this one thing has been the biggest battle for me.

After church yesterday, there was an event and one of the leaders asked me to take pictures. I was on the stage taking pictures and all of the sudden my eye lid started to shake, then I started to sweat and I turned all red. Then extreme heaviness hit me and I felt like I was going to break down and cry. I could feel everybody staring at me and saw some people laughing in the congregation, I don't know if they were laughing at me - and they probably weren't, but this only made it more extreme. My heart wasn't racing, but I started to get real frustrated and pissed off and was praying and asking God what was going on with me?? Severe depression and suicidal thoughts always follow me after this happens, cuz I feel like I'm losing control. This has been happening to me every so often during the past 3 years in particular. It began to happen again just a minute ago at work while I was getting food in the kitchen and somebody jokingly said I was taking a lot of food. I don't know what to say fam, but this stronghold is going to be broken. There has been a lot of mental warfare lately, and this makes it seems like it's escalating. I'm seeking the LORD in what I should do. I'm trying to submit it to Him, but it's really taking it's toll on me.

If you feel led of the Holy Ghost please pray in agreement with me, I know I'm not in this alone and that is why I am sharing it on here.

Much Love.

- O

LifeInReturn
12-18-2006, 01:36 PM
Man, I feel you. I have been dealing w/a lot of mental anguish myself, so I def understand and def will be praying, Otis :)

StreetSermonz
12-18-2006, 01:40 PM
Man, I feel you. I have been dealing w/a lot of mental anguish myself, so I def understand and def will be praying, Otis :)
thanks sis :) I'll be praying for you too.

montenell
12-18-2006, 02:18 PM
i got you,i called you i think it was sat to holla at you,

BlackCalvinist
12-18-2006, 02:28 PM
that makes three of us.

PM me a number and I'll call you.

StreetSermonz
12-18-2006, 02:43 PM
i got you,i called you i think it was sat to holla at you,
I got your message fam, sorry I didn't get back to you, it was a crazy/busy weekend. I'll hit you up later.

thankfull
12-18-2006, 02:45 PM
praying for you

Double Edges
12-18-2006, 10:43 PM
Mental Warfare has been happening with me on and off as well, but i aint giving up and neither will you. WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS IN CHRIST JESUS, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US.

savedbygracealone
12-18-2006, 10:54 PM
prayin for ya otis!

StreetSermonz
12-19-2006, 10:00 AM
that makes three of us.

PM me a number and I'll call you.
Thanks fam, I'll be praying for you too. I got ya message, I'll call you later today.


praying for you
I appreciate it sis.


Mental Warfare has been happening with me on and off as well, but i aint giving up and neither will you. WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS IN CHRIST JESUS, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US.
Amen, it seems like everybody I know in the faith is experiencing warfare on new levels, particularly mentally, but like you said in Christ we are more than conquerors! The battle is already won, now it's time to persevere and walk it out in faith! Thanks for the encouragement!


prayin for ya otis!
Thank you sis, I appreciate you for real. I'm praying for you too.

albraggs
12-19-2006, 04:13 PM
I praying for u too fam. I know how u feel with having sucidal(sp) thoughts. I have been through it. I praying for you fam. Plz continue to seek God's face to help u. I beleve that God will be there for u and that He is listening and seeing that we ur bros and sis in Christ are praying for u. Keep ur head up and trust God.

ur sis in Christ

Asia.

StreetSermonz
12-20-2006, 10:17 AM
I praying for u too fam. I know how u feel with having sucidal(sp) thoughts. I have been through it. I praying for you fam. Plz continue to seek God's face to help u. I beleve that God will be there for u and that He is listening and seeing that we ur bros and sis in Christ are praying for u. Keep ur head up and trust God.

ur sis in Christ

Asia.
Thanks sis. I appreciate the prayers and the encouragement. I look at the suicidal thoughts as darts the enemy is throwing my way when I experience depression. I understand portions of my calling and purpose in this life, and I thank God for all of the trials and opposition that I have faced thus far. If anything, I pray that God will use my testimony and my experiences to help others. I thank God for giving me the grace to deal with this situation, but I also thank Him for my deliverance! :D