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LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 04:30 PM
Say you met someone and fell in love with them... and a few months down the line, they tell you they have AIDS / herpes / cancer, etc... what would you do ?

AIDS / herpes - You can get it. With AIDS, you can die from it.

AIDS / cancer - You can lose them and you'd marry them knowing this.

I just thought I'd pick some brains. Lets be honest.

Would you want to continue the relationship and marry them ? Why or why not ??

ZestD
10-23-2006, 04:32 PM
Depends if they were 'the one' but I prob wouldn't. Kick them to the curb. I like girls without lumps, lesions and virus'. Call me superficial, but I don't dig that crap.

jeyjey34
10-23-2006, 04:33 PM
Depends if they were 'the one' but I prob wouldn't. Kick them to the curb. I like girls without lumps, lesions and virus'. Call me superficial, but I don't dig that crap.

What do you mean "The One" ?

And how would you know if he or she is "The One" and not someone else?

LaRosa
10-23-2006, 04:34 PM
cancer or illness... i could deal with....

AIDS or STD... no thanks... cuz a brotha gotta get his... and that's a clear indication that i couldn't be sexually satisfied

just being real & honest with myself

lj.

ZestD
10-23-2006, 04:36 PM
You can love someone and them to not be the one you are supposed to marry(in my view anyway). Virtually all of my married friends say they just knew that person was for them. That's what I mean.

Quiet storm
10-23-2006, 04:36 PM
Say you met someone and fell in love with them... and a few months down the line, they tell you they have AIDS / herpes / cancer, etc... what would you do ?

AIDS / herpes - You can get it. With AIDS, you can die from it.

AIDS / cancer - You can lose them and you'd marry them knowing this.

I just thought I'd pick some brains. Lets be honest.

Would you want to continue the relationship and marry them ? Why or why not ??


It will all depend if she knew ahead of time.....if she knew but never bothered to tell me then I would probably leave her cause I could not marry a woman who was not honest with me. If she just found out and told me then I would not leave her.

ZestD
10-23-2006, 04:37 PM
cancer or illness... i could deal with....

AIDS or STD... no thanks... cuz a brotha gotta get his... and that's a clear indication that i couldn't be sexually satisfied

just being real & honest with myself

lj.

I would tend to agree with this line of thought also.

Conviction Music
10-23-2006, 04:37 PM
Say you met someone and fell in love with them... and a few months down the line, they tell you they have AIDS / herpes / cancer, etc... what would you do ?

AIDS / herpes - You can get it. With AIDS, you can die from it.

AIDS / cancer - You can lose them and you'd marry them knowing this.

I just thought I'd pick some brains. Lets be honest.

Would you want to continue the relationship and marry them ? Why or why not ??


Wow. Umm, honestly. I would have to examine our relationship based on what God's will. Honestly, I have fell in love with females that i didnt marry because it wasnt God's will for me to marry them. Everything has to be taken into consideration in regards to marriage. So honestly, for me it would depend on what God wants, and my obedience. I'd be kinda upset if i find this out 2 months later. Especially if I coulda and wanted to fell into sin but woulda caught aids at the same time(it happens yall). I dont think the love would change for the person by love's definition, but I do think our involvement would change based on our relationship with God and where he is leading us.

Enlighten
10-23-2006, 04:37 PM
For Me STD strait up NO, cause I dont mess any girl that is not virgin that's my standard. Cancer I could deal I the risk of losing someone I love to it but if it is true love that's eternal then I'm willing to take the risk but will I, isn't set in stone.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 04:41 PM
The Bible doesn't support the theory of 'The One'... ;)

So... anyhow, you love this chick.. She's supportive, Godly, etc.

You'd just bounce on her ?

LENZ_1
10-23-2006, 04:44 PM
The Bible doesn't support the theory of 'The One'... ;)

So... anyhow, you love this chick.. She's supportive, Godly, etc.

You'd just bounce on her ?



Nah, definately not, but if God's not putting the two together, it shouldnt even be a question. If He is, then He'll make a way.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 04:46 PM
Nah, definately not, but if God's not putting the two together, it shouldnt even be a question. If He is, then He'll make a way.

Ahh, but what if God IS ? ;)

I love convos like this, man.

ZestD
10-23-2006, 04:47 PM
Ahh, but what if God IS ? ;)

I love convos like this, man.
Depends if I was able to submit despite strong indicators to NOT be with the girl.

LENZ_1
10-23-2006, 04:48 PM
Ahh, but what if God IS ? ;)

I love convos like this, man.

If it IS God then, even if dude walks away, he'll come to the realization of what God's will is (hopefully) and come back. God's got someone for everyone (that going to be married). Shoot. That man may be the one that is able to get her healed.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 04:49 PM
Depends if I was able to submit despite strong indicators to NOT be with the girl.

So those would be an indicator ??? :confused:

So every saved person who has any of those conditions... is supposed to be alone ??? :confused:

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 04:50 PM
If it IS God then, even if dude walks away, he'll come to the realization of what God's will is (hopefully) and come back. God's got someone for everyone (that going to be married). Shoot. That man may be the one that is able to get her healed.

Ahhh :)

jeyjey34
10-23-2006, 04:51 PM
Depends if I was able to submit despite strong indicators to NOT be with the girl.

Yeah, strong indicators like....if she's already married. :eek:

ZestD
10-23-2006, 04:54 PM
So those would be an indicator ??? :confused:

So every saved person who has any of those conditions... is supposed to be alone ??? :confused:

No, prob not for me though. Then again, it would have to be a pretty strong voice of God for me and my stubborn ways to submit to it. That's all I'm saying.


Yeah, strong indicators like....if she's already married. :eek:
Lol, yeah, that's a pretty strong one.

Big Ty
10-23-2006, 04:55 PM
My initial "super" spiritual response would be that if I was sincerely in love with this woman, I believe I would stick by her.

But than I thought about the Aids thing. Now for some reason it can be done. For example, Magic and his wife, but my funds ain't as long as Magic's to be getting treatment and medication. This is a tough one. I guess I can't honestly answer unless God was going to test me through a situation like that.

Quiet storm
10-23-2006, 04:56 PM
It will all depend if she knew ahead of time.....if she knew but never bothered to tell me then I would probably leave her cause I could not marry a woman who was not honest with me. If she just found out and told me then I would not leave her.


hmmmm im starting to rethink my response when it comes to AIDS......cause 1) sex is an important part of marriage 2) You can die from AIDS......so thus I will be putting my life at risk when I marry this girl. I dont know good question sis. :confused:

LENZ_1
10-23-2006, 05:01 PM
My initial "super" spiritual response would be that if I was sincerely in love with this woman, I believe I would stick by her.

But than I thought about the Aids thing. Now for some reason it can be done. For example, Magic and his wife, but my funds ain't as long as Magic's to be getting treatment and medication. This is a tough one. I guess I can't honestly answer unless God was going to test me through a situation like that.

That's real. It's easy for me to answer because I can't end up in that situation, because I'm already locked down. However, if for whatever reason, my wife DID catch something (because they're not ALWAYS sexually transmitted) I know I'd stick by her, because if we aint split yet, we aint splittin.

ZestD
10-23-2006, 05:02 PM
Good topic.

jnorman888
10-23-2006, 05:05 PM
Say you met someone and fell in love with them... and a few months down the line, they tell you they have AIDS / herpes / cancer, etc... what would you do ?

AIDS / herpes - You can get it. With AIDS, you can die from it.

AIDS / cancer - You can lose them and you'd marry them knowing this.

I just thought I'd pick some brains. Lets be honest.

Would you want to continue the relationship and marry them ? Why or why not ??


I'd count the cost first. I would see if we could still have children safely, sexual contact as well as other contact safely as well as pay the medical bills or see if there was help in paying the medical bills. If we could do all that then I wouldn't care what she had.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 05:08 PM
Let me add some spins.

Spin 1:
She was raped / molested and contracted AIDS or herpes or any other permanent STD. Would you punish her for something that was not her fault ?

Spin 2:
He / she contracted it from an ex who failed to tell him / her that he / she had it. So he / she just happens to find out after they feel like something isn't right.

Conviction Music
10-23-2006, 05:10 PM
compassion is always there as well as the attributes of Christ, but is it in God's will and purpose for both parties? Can i be fruitful and multiply? Also, can this person not deny her husband his needs? Scripture is absolute right?

simplyG
10-23-2006, 05:11 PM
The Bible doesn't support the theory of 'The One'... ;)

So... anyhow, you love this chick.. She's supportive, Godly, etc.

You'd just bounce on her ?





Just curious, help me out.
What scripture(s) invalidate the concept of one person for another?
If I'm misunderstanding it, please forgive me.

LENZ_1
10-23-2006, 05:12 PM
Let me add some spins.

Spin 1:
She was raped / molested and contracted AIDS or herpes or any other permanent STD. Would you punish her for something that was not her fault ?

Spin 2:
He / she contracted it from an ex who failed to tell him / her that he / she had it. So he / she just happens to find out after they feel like something isn't right.

Honestly I think it's still the same deal, because if you're dealing with someone that's now saved, who're we to hold anything they've done, whether intentionally or not, over their head?

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 05:12 PM
Just curious, help me out.
What scripture(s) invalidate the concept of one person for another?
If I'm misunderstanding it, please forgive me.

Start a topic in the theology forum and we will discuss it... I am interested in responses to this topic :)

jnorman888
10-23-2006, 05:12 PM
Let me add some spins.

Spin 1:
She was raped / molested and contracted AIDS or herpes or any other permanent STD. Would you punish her for something that was not her fault ?

Spin 2:
He / she contracted it from an ex who failed to tell him / her that he / she had it. So he / she just happens to find out after they feel like something isn't right.


My answer is still the same.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 05:13 PM
Honestly I think it's still the same deal, because if you're dealing with someone that's now saved, who're we to hold anything they've done, whether intentionally or not, over their head?


YES.

Quiet storm
10-23-2006, 05:25 PM
Let me add some spins.

Spin 1:
She was raped / molested and contracted AIDS or herpes or any other permanent STD. Would you punish her for something that was not her fault ?

Spin 2:
He / she contracted it from an ex who failed to tell him / her that he / she had it. So he / she just happens to find out after they feel like something isn't right.


Good spins I think my answer will remain the same when it comes to AIDS I can deal with herpes or any other non life threatening STDS......however im pretty ignorant when it comes to how married couples deal with AIDS and continue to have sex so I would have to look into it.

LENZ_1
10-23-2006, 05:28 PM
I would have to agree with QS right here in looking into it. I think when you're ignorant to a certain thing, you're more likely to mess something up. Like a child playing with a gun, you haven't learned proper safety techniques, so you have an accident. If you learn from someone that's been there, you have a better chance of surviving.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 05:29 PM
For Me STD strait up NO, cause I dont mess any girl that is not virgin that's my standard. Cancer I could deal I the risk of losing someone I love to it but if it is true love that's eternal then I'm willing to take the risk but will I, isn't set in stone.

We won't be married eternally. Once Christ comes back for His people, we won't be married. :) Or do you mean, the rest of your earthly lives ?

KFB
10-23-2006, 06:13 PM
I actually had a similar situation happen to me. I will come back and share when I have time.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 06:36 PM
Thanks, KFB.

KFB
10-23-2006, 07:01 PM
Well I was in love with a young lady who waited a few months to tell me that she had caught a std(a cureable one) at one point and that she had been promiscuous(sp?) before she got saved. I was pretty hurt by what I was told, but as far as I was concerned, she was the woman I was going to marry, so I forgave her. When you really love someone, you're willing to do your best to forgive and forget imho. That being said, she was actually hiding more than that from me, and she even eventually told me all that she had been keeeping from me, which was wild( I won't go into details). Even with more secrets coming out my heart wanted to stay with her, but I was able to make the wise choice and end the relationship as all trust was lost. ( I can go into more depth, if it's needed)

These are very difficult questions to answer as long as your heart is involved and you truly love someone. :(

Quiet storm
10-23-2006, 07:04 PM
Well I was in love with a young lady who waited a few months to tell me that she had caught a std(a cureable one) at one point and that she had been promiscuous(sp?) before she got saved. I was pretty hurt by what I was told, but as far as I was concerned, she was the woman I was going to marry, so I forgave her. When you really love someone, you're willing to do your best to forgive and forget imho. That being said, she was actually hiding more than that from me, and she even eventually told me all that she had been keeeping from me, which was wild( I won't go into details). Even with more secrets coming out my heart wanted to stay with her, but I was able to make the wise choice and end the relationship as all trust was lost. ( I can go into more depth, if it's needed)

These are very difficult questions to answer as long as your heart is involved and you truly love someone. :(

That was real fam thanks for sharing. I feel you on the trust issue.

Enlighten
10-23-2006, 07:08 PM
We won't be married eternally. Once Christ comes back for His people, we won't be married. :) Or do you mean, the rest of your earthly lives ?

Earthly, now that rape thing makes a difference I think it about but YHWH know me too well I wouldnt want something like. But if will I marry he'll work it.

Also while the bible doesnt support the one, Our lives are fore ordained so if God has willed us to be married He Know who we will marry, so in a since there is a one. Note in a since not an absolute.

dremarshall
10-23-2006, 07:18 PM
1st off let me say this God has dominion over ALL sickness, meaning that God is a healer, and can heal any of these things. Now personally I wouldn't want to marry a female with these symptons, who would. But God's will is soverign, so any of us probably would obey God. Oh & there is no the "one" that's why the bible says he who finds a towb...... feel me. Wow this would really challenge your obedience though huh?:)

savedbygracealone
10-23-2006, 07:19 PM
interesting discussion.

eve
10-23-2006, 07:41 PM
For Me STD strait up NO, cause I dont mess any girl that is not virgin that's my standard. Cancer I could deal I the risk of losing someone I love to it but if it is true love that's eternal then I'm willing to take the risk but will I, isn't set in stone.

are you a virgin? i assume you are, since it's kind of screwey to impose a standard on another that you yourself can't meet. just asking though. ;)

as for the excellent question, if dude deceived me and didn't tell me until after my feelings got involved, YES, he would be outtie. deception ain't cool. and as you guys know i can't stand cowardly dudes. i know if i had one of those diseases, i would let a guy know before we got all caught up in each other because it's only fair. i would rather stay single then mess with someone's life like that.

then again, i would leave dude if it turns out he had been deceptive on other things too: whether he hadn't disclosed having kids stashed away, a disease, prior jail time, etc. it borders on witchcraft to pounce news on a potential spouse AFTER they gave you their heart. imagine spending a lifetime with someone like that. :mad:

(and then they'd have the nerve not to cheat!) thereby making it impossible for you to get out the marriage!

Enlighten
10-23-2006, 08:05 PM
are you a virgin? i assume you are, since it's kind of screwey to impose a standard on another that you yourself can't meet. just asking though. ;)

as for the excellent question, if dude deceived me and didn't tell me until after my feelings got involved, YES, he would be outtie. deception ain't cool. and as you guys know i can't stand cowardly dudes. i know if i had one of those diseases, i would let a guy know before we got all caught up in each other because it's only fair. i would rather stay single then mess with someone's life like that.

then again, i would leave dude if it turns out he had been deceptive on other things too: whether he hadn't disclosed having kids stashed away, a disease, prior jail time, etc. it borders on witchcraft to pounce news on a potential spouse AFTER they gave you their heart. imagine spending a lifetime with someone like that. :mad:

(and then they'd have the nerve not to cheat!) thereby making it impossible for you to get out the marriage!

YES I am and proud of it.

eve
10-23-2006, 08:20 PM
excellent!

the answer
10-23-2006, 08:32 PM
Jeremy camp ( christian artist) had to deal with this, his first wife died of cancer. What a story!

Camp’s journey began when he left his home in Lafayette, Indiana, bound for Bible college in Southern California. He wasn’t sure what God had planned for him, but he knew he wanted to be ready. As he soaked up all the biblical knowledge he could and pondered a career in ministry, Jeremy filled his downtime strumming a guitar, a skill he picked up from his musically inclined father. One day, as he was playing in the dorm kitchen, the school’s worship leader overheard him and encouraged him to get involved in the music ministry opportunities available on campus.

It wasn’t long before Camp was leading worship at the school and all over Southern California. One of those gigs would even lead him to his future wife and a relationship that would shape him in ways he couldn’t imagine. He was playing for a small Bible study group in the San Diego area where he was living when he noticed her. “I started to play a worship song and she raised her hands high above her head to praise God,” Jeremy recalls. “I was in awe of this woman who obviously loved Jesus so much.”

They talked afterward and Jeremy and Melissa spent that summer getting to know each other better through church events, prayer meetings and college group activities. So it came as quite a shock when, after four months of dating, Melissa suggested they break up. Camp couldn’t find fault with her reason, though. She said she needed to spend more time with the Lord, that she felt He was preparing her for something.

Jeremy nursed his broken heart on the road, traveling around the country and overseas, introducing his original songs to anyone who would listen. Inspired by artists such as Dave Matthews, Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox Twenty, Pearl Jam and Creed, his music made a connection with audiences as his lyrics pointed them to the God Jeremy faithfully served.

While his personal life wasn’t going exactly the way he had hoped, his ministry was thriving.

And then Jeremy received a call that would change his life forever. He was summoned to the hospital to see Melissa, then 20, who had just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

“I walked into the hospital and she was just beaming,” Jeremy recalls. “You could tell she wasn’t bummed out. She was just trusting the Lord. It was amazing.” During that same visit, Melissa shared a unique perspective with Jeremy. She told him if she ended up dying from her disease that as long as her death led one person to Christ that it would all be worth it.

Despite her upbeat attitude, Jeremy left the hospital confused and upset at seeing someone he cared about in pain. Once in his car he found himself making a strange promise. “I drove away saying, ‘God if You want me to marry Melissa, knowing she could die from this cancer, then I will. If she tells me she loves me, I’ll marry her.’” It seemed like a fairly safe bet. They had never spoken those words to each while they were dating, why would she say them now?

But during his next visit she did just that so Jeremy went away and fasted and prayed. The next time he saw Melissa, she was going through chemotherapy and was days away from losing all her hair. As they talked, Jeremy knew what he wanted to do. “I told her I loved her and said, ‘let’s get a ring tomorrow.’”

Five months later, with Melissa’s hair growing back and her feeling better, the young couple married in front of a thousand well wishers. Unfortunately, their happiness was short lived. During their honeymoon, Melissa started having stomach problems and when they returned the doctor delivered the news they dreaded. She had mere months to live. On Feb. 5, 2001, Melissa went to be with the Lord. As she took her last breath, Jeremy stood with her family and began worshipping God singing the same songs they had played so often for Melissa during her hospital stays. “I didn’t want to do it,” he says, “but I knew I was learning something about obedience.”

Melissa’s life and death changed Jeremy’s perspective on the music he makes. “Watching Melissa go to Heaven made me realize what’s important. Music is not my life. Christ is my life. The only thing that really matters is what we do for Jesus on this Earth, and as a result of what I’ve been through, I express even more the goodness of God and how faithful He is.”

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 08:33 PM
I wish more females on here would respond. Thank you, eve :)

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 08:34 PM
Yep, answer, Jeremy Camp's tmony when it comes to his 1st wife is amazing.... Coincidentally, he is one of my favorite CCM artists.

desertwoman
10-23-2006, 10:18 PM
I would marry him, no questions asked for our friendship and love of Christ is more important than anything else to me.

LifeInReturn
10-23-2006, 10:20 PM
I would marry him, no questions asked for our friendship and love of Christ is more important than anything else to me.

That's hot, sis. Same here.

Man, the responses are so multifaceted!

Devin
10-24-2006, 03:34 AM
personally.....im sorry....i couldnt do it.....its an std....and Aids is serious business....i just know me.....if im married to a beautiful....somewhere down the line im gonna want to have sex.....and i cant be married and celebate at the same time...it wouldnt work out...plus what if i want kids?i dont want my kids born with Aids.....so yeah....i would have to break it up....but i would try to "purposely" mess up so she wont think its because of the Aids issue.....

vers
10-24-2006, 04:29 AM
the word also says "dont awaken love befor its time" reason being, love is blind and due to its nature, it provents u from viewing ur situation wisely and with out emotions!
if you havnt wokn love befor its time, then ur not in love (eros love) so u wouldnt think about persuing a relationship with that person.
if you are in love with that person, if it is of God, u would know where u stand right from the start, and God can lead you, if that is the right person fo u or not!
and last but not least, if ur togethr already (married) im pretty sure God still heals!!;)
but folks also have to learn the diffrnce between the diffrnt types of love...
agape love - brotherley sistrly love in Christ (yall my spellns so bad!!)
fille love - family love
and eros love - sex and intimacy

folks oftn get agape and eros love mixed up, they think they in love, but they are just attracted to the Godly qualitys in a person.

good topic Life!!!
V

1-Lyfe
10-24-2006, 06:10 AM
in all honesty i would still marry her. God works in mysterious ways (sorry so cliche). but if i really loved this woman then no type of disease would be able to get in the way of that. by the way...Hosea would be a bangin' book to read on this. i just got outta Hosea.

LENZ_1
10-24-2006, 08:26 AM
personally.....im sorry....i couldnt do it.....its and std....and Aids is serious business....i just know me.....if im married to a beautiful....somewhere down the line im gonna want to have sex.....and i cant be married and celebate at the same time...it wouldnt work out...plus what if i want kids?i dont want my kids born with Aids.....so yeah....i would have to break it up....but i would try to "purposely" mess up so she wont think its because of the Aids issue.....

Just to toss this out there....

Your parents can have AIDs and you not. I know it's rare, but it is possible. My wife is an example.

LifeInReturn
10-24-2006, 08:33 AM
Just to toss this out there....

Your parents can have AIDs and you not. I know it's rare, but it is possible. My wife is an example.

Amen; God be doin His thang! LOL

LENZ_1
10-24-2006, 08:35 AM
Amen; God be doin His thang! LOL

Amen. My wife's testimony is awesome. I'm very fortunate that God saved her for me.

Devin
10-24-2006, 12:09 PM
Just to toss this out there....

Your parents can have AIDs and you not. I know it's rare, but it is possible. My wife is an example.


THATS GREAT TO HEAR!!!!!...but at the same time...thats not a guarantee.....but it could happen......im not willing to find out.....

DJ Links
10-24-2006, 12:10 PM
cancer or illness... i could deal with....

AIDS or STD... no thanks... cuz a brotha gotta get his... and that's a clear indication that i couldn't be sexually satisfied

just being real & honest with myself

lj.


YEAMEN!!!!!!!!

LifeInReturn
10-24-2006, 01:55 PM
"A brotha gotta get his"

Is that what marriage is all about ?

CHRISTion
10-24-2006, 02:00 PM
"A brotha gotta get his"

Is that what marriage is all about ?
If that's how he honestly feels, I don't have a problem with his quote. What I DO have a problem with is someone FRONTIN sayin that it aint a big deal, when in fact it is :mad:

(NOTE: I'm NOT just talking about guys here either, and the married guys in here will co-sign that it's NOT just US who want sex all the time)

Quiet storm
10-24-2006, 02:02 PM
"A brotha gotta get his"

Is that what marriage is all about ?


A MAJOR part yes.....Gen 1:28 , 1 Cor 7:3-5 ...however I wouldnt say that is "all" marriage is about.

savedbygracealone
10-24-2006, 02:02 PM
nope, but it does separate marriage apart from other Christian relationships. that is how you become "one flesh"

CHRISTion
10-24-2006, 02:06 PM
nope, but it does separate marriage apart from other Christian relationships. that is how you become "one flesh"
Thank you Jolene for co-signing my point ;)

CHRISTion
10-24-2006, 02:09 PM
Another question...

would a guy be wrong for wanting sex from his wife if she is paralyzed from the waste down? :confused:

Quiet storm
10-24-2006, 02:10 PM
Another question...

would a guy be wrong for wanting sex from his wife if she is paralyzed from the waste down? :confused:


Dang ima leave this one alone but I have often pondered that question.

jnorman888
10-24-2006, 02:11 PM
Another question...

would a guy be wrong for wanting sex from his wife if she is paralyzed from the waste down? :confused:


That's not something I wanna think about. I mean she won't be able to feel anything so it will be totaly one sided and somewhat selfish.

It would be ok for Procreation reasons but she won't well....that's not something I really wanna think about.

Devin
10-24-2006, 02:13 PM
Another question...

would a guy be wrong for wanting sex from his wife if she is paralyzed from the waste down? :confused:


ummmm.......i dont think so.......

Devin
10-24-2006, 02:14 PM
"A brotha gotta get his"

Is that what marriage is all about ?



hey...you brought this one up.....you wanted to dig deep...and now you got DEEP!!!!:D











yes its a big part of marriage...

LifeInReturn
10-24-2006, 02:15 PM
Let me answer.

Life has shown me so much. If I loved the man and he was Godly, honored / respected me, loved me, most of all honored / reverenced / served / respected God wholeheartedly.... If he was theologically sound, able to lead me correctly, able to protect me and guard me and keep me safe, then whatever. If he had it, that is a part of him that I'd just have to go ahead and take on. Love is love. And love is unconditional. The Bible states what love is....

But, I gotta go home now, so I will do the rest of my response in about an hour ;)

J Hoyt
10-24-2006, 02:22 PM
[COLOR="White"]Say you met someone and fell in love with them... and a few months down the line, they tell you they have AIDS / herpes / cancer, etc... what would you do ?
I'd pretty offended that this was a secret for that long. I think that would do far more damage to the relationship than the cancer/AIDS/whatever.

Quiet storm
10-24-2006, 02:23 PM
I'd pretty offended that this was a secret for that long. I think that would do far more damage to the relationship than the cancer/AIDS/whatever.


Yeah I said something similar earlier.....honestly is something I truely value.

J Hoyt
10-24-2006, 02:26 PM
Yeah I said something similar earlier.....honestly is something I truely value.
Yeah, I wasn't gonna read 67 posts. I got in on this one late.

Sorry, but I can't trust someone who isn't comfortable discussing important things. That would almost be a deal breaker for me. However, if I met someone and learned fairly quickly of the disease or sickness, I don't think it would affect much.

CHRISTion
10-24-2006, 02:26 PM
Another question...

would a guy be wrong for wanting sex from his wife if she is paralyzed from the waste down? :confused:
It's understood that it's selfish BUT it's also understood that sex is a very needed and NECESSARY part of marriage-both for men AND women, and I would like to think that a woman would much rather please her man in whatever way she could, rather than have him *THINK* about getting it somewhere else becuz she couldn't do it.

I know...I know...it's a sticky situation, but I really think we should think about these things and be prayed up for no matter what situation God wants to throw our way.

BTW ladies, i KNOW if it were the other way around it couldn't go down, so... I'm sorry for that, this is just what we call "NOT FAIR" aka "LIFE"

J Hoyt
10-24-2006, 02:28 PM
By the way, I thought about this just a few days ago actually: If I somehow contracted AIDS (not that I intend to be in any AIDS-risky situations), I would probably decide to stop keeping an eye out for a future wife. I'd be done with that and be content to be single. It would be a rare girl that I would ask to make a decision like that for me.

jnorman888
10-24-2006, 02:30 PM
By the way, I thought about this just a few days ago actually: If I somehow contracted AIDS (not that I intend to be in any AIDS-risky situations), I would probably decide to stop keeping an eye out for a future wife. I'd be done with that and be content to be single. It would be a rare girl that I would ask to make a decision like that for me.


What if you couldn't control your sex drive? It would be mighty hard to stay single.

Roman Catholic Preists be trying that single thing all the time and we see how hard it is for some of them sooooooo what would you do if you couldn't control your sexual urges?

Devin
10-24-2006, 02:31 PM
What if you couldn't control your sexual drive? It would be mighty hard to stay single.


i thought u said God was in control?;)

jnorman888
10-24-2006, 02:34 PM
i thought u said God was in control?;)


That's in preaching the Gospel and God protecting you. If you die you die, but if you can't control your sex drive now then what makes you think you will be able to control it if you contracted H.I.V.?

Devin
10-24-2006, 02:35 PM
That's in preaching the Gospel and God protecting you. If you die you die, but if you can't control your sex drive now then what makes you think you will be able to control it if you contracted H.I.V.?


no sir...its in ALL THINGS!!!!


ALL things are possible with Christ....so youre wrong buddy;)

J Hoyt
10-24-2006, 02:39 PM
What if you couldn't control your sex drive? It would be mighty hard to stay single.

Roman Catholic Preists be trying that single thing all the time and we see how hard it is for some of them sooooooo what would you do if you couldn't control your sexual urges?

That's a symptom, not a cause. I should have self control because it is part of the fruit, ie, the end result of several other things. If that fruit isn't there, there's a deeper reason.

Will it be hard? Oh, no doubt. To say that it's impossible is underestimating what God can do to us.

jnorman888
10-24-2006, 02:39 PM
no sir...its in ALL THINGS!!!!


ALL things are possible with Christ....so youre wrong buddy;)


You won't always have victory Loot! You won't always walk through the door that God gives you when you are tempted. God won't make us overcome loot we have to use the grace that God gives properly if we are going to overcome.

Devin
10-24-2006, 02:40 PM
You won't always have victory Loot! You won't always walk through the door that God gives you when you are tempted. God won't make us overcome loot we have to use the grace that God gives properly if we are going to overcome.


i know...but earlier you were downplaying that....atleast it seems.......but it is possible....

jnorman888
10-24-2006, 02:42 PM
i know...but earlier you were downplaying that....atleast it seems.......but it is possible....


Some things are outside of our influence Loot. I can't control what another man does. Therefore God is the one who protects me for I can't die until God says so, but when it comes to the things that are within my influence then God will only go but so far for He won't make me overcome. I have to walk with Him through the open door.

savedbygracealone
10-24-2006, 02:50 PM
Thank you Jolene for co-signing my point ;)
lol. i was typing at the same time!

CLER
10-24-2006, 03:28 PM
hmmm. yea it depends. if it's the person who i want to be with right now (God-willing), i'll still marry him. He's a guy who strives for holiness and serve God, so that's more important than what he has. but i don't wanna sound hypocrytical that it won't bother me, it will... but there are a lot of things in life that i don't want to do but i end up doing because i want to obey good.

apokalum
10-24-2006, 05:09 PM
I'd probably leave her if she had not been upfront and honest about it earlier in the relationship. Cause best believe, that is on my list of questions to ask a potential mate..and lack of honesty leads to a dysfunctional relationship all around.

LifeInReturn
10-25-2006, 01:39 PM
Thank you for your responses, everyone.

Anyone else want to weigh in ? :)

LifeInReturn
12-26-2006, 03:58 AM
*bump*

eve
12-26-2006, 10:05 AM
What if you couldn't control your sex drive? It would be mighty hard to stay single.

Roman Catholic Preists be trying that single thing all the time and we see how hard it is for some of them sooooooo what would you do if you couldn't control your sexual urges?

this is precisely why i believe "sex drive" CAN be controlled. if your wife turns up with genital warts, your sex drive will go away within three miliseconds. if someone you had a strong "sex drive" for suddenly turned into , your blood flow would go in another direction. that's why i don't believe that "can't control sex drive" stuff. the difference between humans and animals is we have the ability to think and reason. there are only certain types of people scripture calls "creatures of instinct" (see Titus 3).

there are certain natural urges, but when we give in to them, it's our decision. though it's hard for me and a lot of others, God said in Genesis that [I]we must master sin, not the other way around.

The_Expositor
12-26-2006, 10:09 AM
Say you met someone and fell in love with them... and a few months down the line, they tell you they have AIDS / herpes / cancer, etc... what would you do ?

AIDS / herpes - You can get it. With AIDS, you can die from it.

AIDS / cancer - You can lose them and you'd marry them knowing this.

I just thought I'd pick some brains. Lets be honest.

Would you want to continue the relationship and marry them ? Why or why not ??

If I was really in love with them, and I wanted to marry them, I'd marry them knowing I might have to take the same medicine they do.

Devin
03-12-2007, 12:31 AM
throwback!

joseph29
03-12-2007, 12:40 AM
my initial respnse would be to leave her, if she knew about the disease from the get go. I mean i understand you may not want to introduce yourself as molly, oh by the by i have aids. But if the relationship is getting deep you gotta let the guy know.

But i do remember God having one of his prophets marry a prostitute to show how israel was treating God. So it could be possible, that God would want us to stay with the girl, for his own reason. I just think it would be difficult cuz it would make it almost impossible to have children, and without the ability to have children, i dont think the marriage would be benificial.