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Devin
10-18-2006, 01:01 PM
i gotta question...if a woman marries a man but the man becomes abusive and she gets a divorce...would she be wrong to remarry?

J Hoyt
10-18-2006, 01:05 PM
I recommend that you delete this and repost it in the general theo forum. There was a discussion there on this right befere The Great Build Board Purge of Aught-Six

Devin
10-18-2006, 01:07 PM
naw...more ppl will read it in here.....im not asking about religious beliefs...or doctrine beliefs....

Quiet storm
10-18-2006, 01:09 PM
naw...more ppl will read it in here.....im not asking about religious beliefs...or doctrine beliefs....


Devin that is what you are gonna get on a topic like this.

dremarshall
10-18-2006, 01:10 PM
naw...more ppl will read it in here.....im not asking about religious beliefs...or doctrine beliefs....

Loot I had to help my sister talk about this, and this helped. http://www.carm.org/questions/divorce.htm

J Hoyt
10-18-2006, 01:13 PM
.im not asking about religious beliefs...or doctrine beliefs....

I believe you are. I don't think anyone can give anything but worthless opinion without going into the scriptures, ie, general theology.

And by the way, the people that will give you the best answers are the ones that read the theo forums.

Devin
10-18-2006, 01:14 PM
Devin that is what you are gonna get on a topic like this.


well...what i meant was that im not asking questions about calvinism,wof or other types of doctrines....thats why i prefer to put this question on the Build Board...

Quiet storm
10-18-2006, 01:26 PM
well...what i meant was that im not asking questions about calvinism,wof or other types of doctrines....thats why i prefer to put this question on the Build Board...


I hope you know that doctrine is not limited to those areas you mentioned but nevermind I digress.

jnorman888
10-18-2006, 01:31 PM
i gotta question...if a woman marries a man but the man becomes abusive and she gets a divorce...would she be wrong to remarry?

The new Testament seems to only allow a divorce based on adultry. The woman can leave her husband but she can't divorce him. Instead she would have to wait until he dies or until he commits adultry or something.

Devin
10-18-2006, 01:33 PM
The new Testament seems to only allow a divorce based on adultry. The woman can leave her husband but she can't divorce him. Instead she would have to wait until he dies or until he commits adultry or something.


so can she go on a "technicality"...? like if he is looking at another woman....lol...naw....that wont work...

jnorman888
10-18-2006, 01:36 PM
so can she go on a "technicality"...? like if he is looking at another woman....lol...naw....that wont work...


She can separate herself from him by leaving but that's about it. Either that or get dude some help.

Devin
10-18-2006, 01:37 PM
She can separate herself from him by leaving but that's about it. Either that or get dude some help.


well...what if she finds herself wanting to get remarried and she feels she cant contain herself sexually?

J Hoyt
10-18-2006, 01:45 PM
Lack of self-control doesn't negate the fact that it would be wrong.

dremarshall
10-18-2006, 01:47 PM
so can she go on a "technicality"...? like if he is looking at another woman....lol...naw....that wont work...

Yep, also it talks about if one is an unbeliever, but if she initiates the divorce then no, if he does, then yes. http://www.carm.org/questions/divorce.htm

jnorman888
10-18-2006, 01:49 PM
well...what if she finds herself wanting to get remarried and she feels she cant contain herself sexually?

What J Hoyt said.


This issue is very sensitive Mad Loot so I'm gonna bell out.

Devin
10-18-2006, 02:56 PM
Lack of self-control doesn't negate the fact that it would be wrong.

well it seems like theres a no win situation..becuase if she remarries she comits adultry...but if she cant control herself and sleeps with a man thats not her husband then she comits fornication.....

Psalmist
10-18-2006, 03:04 PM
i gotta question...if a woman marries a man but the man becomes abusive and she gets a divorce...would she be wrong to remarry?
she would be wrong for divorcing. I'm not saying get beat up on the regular, but separate w/o ending the marraige. It was clearly stated:
If a man divorces his wife for any reason (minus infidelity) he causes her to commit adultery.

Clear cut good brother, infidelity is the only reason divorce should and can be inforced.

lisajames96
10-18-2006, 03:08 PM
This happend to a fam of mine. THey were married 9 years. And she just couldn't take it anymore. I feel God had mercy on her. Her husband pretty much sealed a divorce when he had the "other" women in her house while she was working. But she is happy to be free and not lying and pretending to not be abused anymore.

dremarshall
10-18-2006, 04:16 PM
she would be wrong for divorcing. I'm not saying get beat up on the regular, but separate w/o ending the marraige. It was clearly stated:
If a man divorces his wife for any reason (minus infidelity) he causes her to commit adultery.

Clear cut good brother, infidelity is the only reason divorce should and can be inforced.

Also if the spouse is a unbeliever ala 1Cor. 7

J Hoyt
10-18-2006, 04:21 PM
well it seems like theres a no win situation..becuase if she remarries she comits adultry...but if she cant control herself and sleeps with a man thats not her husband then she comits fornication.....
It's not no-win. The win comes from having self-control and not fornicating.

desertwoman
10-18-2006, 10:21 PM
THis has also happened to a family memeber of mine. My aunt was in an abusive relationship, and she had to leave. She didn't divorce, they were just separated. Later on, he got saved and they got back together.

Plus I believe that when one has been in an abusive relationship, one would not want to get into another one for a good good good while. The person will have serious trust issues.

3SpiritsEM
10-18-2006, 11:50 PM
THis has also happened to a family memeber of mine. My aunt was in an abusive relationship, and she had to leave. She didn't divorce, they were just separated. Later on, he got saved and they got back together.

Plus I believe that when one has been in an abusive relationship, one would not want to get into another one for a good good good while. The person will have serious trust issues.

Unless it is a gay reletionship

joseph29
10-18-2006, 11:53 PM
I feel that no woman should ever get beat by a man, and if she's in an abusive relationship she needs to get out of it as quickly as she can. Me personally i put adultary and abuse in the same category. I feel that they are both extremes, and that Jesus was saying that in extreme cases such as adultary, divorce is ok. But if you're getting divorced just cuz you guys lost touch, or can't get along; than divorce would be wrong. Just my 2 cents.

Devin
10-19-2006, 02:07 AM
It's not no-win. The win comes from having self-control and not fornicating.

yeah.....that MIGHT work.....but paul says that it would be better to marry then burn with passion...right?

Devin
10-19-2006, 02:10 AM
she would be wrong for divorcing. I'm not saying get beat up on the regular, but separate w/o ending the marraige. It was clearly stated:
If a man divorces his wife for any reason (minus infidelity) he causes her to commit adultery.

Clear cut good brother, infidelity is the only reason divorce should and can be inforced.


no its not...read what dre marshall said...i dont think a woman would be wrong for divorcing a man thats trynna kill her.....i dont see that as God's Will....

Psalmist
10-19-2006, 03:03 AM
no its not...read what dre marshall said...i dont think a woman would be wrong for divorcing a man thats trynna kill her.....i dont see that as God's Will....
Just spitting word good brother....like it or not, its what the Bible. says. No one likes the fact that the Word says if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out....shoot if that were the case, I'd see a lot more blind men walking around (including myself). The word is clearcut on this good brother...I never said I don't think they should separate...but divorce....NO!

J Hoyt
10-19-2006, 07:38 AM
yeah.....that MIGHT work.....but paul says that it would be better to marry then burn with passion...right?
And it would be better for the first marriage to have worked. Paul didn't say if you burn, you MUST get married.

Yeah, it'll be a terrible situation but such is life and the consequences of sin. No matter the situation, we have to do what the word says and not what makes sense to us. Divorcing someone who is abusive makes sense to us but Jesus said it's wrong.

Psalmist
10-19-2006, 07:53 AM
No further comments from this end.

Devin
10-19-2006, 12:22 PM
ok....then i guess the abused wife will have to find a way to catch her husband cheating and bounce on a technicality:D

J Hoyt
10-19-2006, 01:09 PM
ok....then i guess the abused wife will have to find a way to catch her husband cheating and bounce on a technicality:D
Or get out of the house to somewhere safe.

tlr
10-26-2006, 11:31 AM
What i wanted to say has just been delated by some quirk in the system however the gist of what i said ar as follows:
1 the women must not stay in the abusive marriage
2 they must get healing and support straight away.
3 the men need to repent and get counselling straight away.
4 the church need to do more to support both.
5 we all need to repent in the church for not dealing with this matter
6 if the men so much as look at another women she has the right to divorce him (adultry the new testament kind).

what about the different scenario's, unbeliever, women abuser, pastor.

I just pray love, healing and forgiveness on both sides so that we can continue to receive from him.

peace

ministerbj
10-27-2006, 04:18 AM
I say she should seek God on the matter and do what God says for her to do...

God is the only that knows what comes up the road.. God knows if she stay,(if the man will try to kill her later)... or(if he will get delivered and treat her right) .. so i say she should ask God and see what He SAYS to her...